Re: update to my dentist question

In article <1143295198.458562.39960@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, Amy says...


Banty wrote:

But it's not a matter of intent.

What we have here is a parent who *is* afraid of dentist

Actually, I'm not. I may not choose to go to the dentist over a day at
the circus, but who would. Last time I was at the dentist (when my DD
was about 10 weeks old) I actually fell asleep in the chair. So,
you're assuming that I'm afraid of something I'm not.

Well, you *say* you're not, now that you feel under scrutiny, but you're the one
who listed a whole set of reasons why you expected your daughter to be afraid,
and, on top of that, alluded the the possibility of child abuse. I woulnd't
exactly call that a sanguine attitude about it.


(among many other people, apparently),

Again, not true. But I'm going to reserve the right to be suspicious
of people who say, "I am taking your daughter here, and you can't
come."


I think unecessarily suspicious.

*assumes* therefore her children will be.

No, I don't, but if she is, I'm going to be there to help her through
it, because going to the dentist IS a necessary part of life, and she
IS going to have to do it every six months for (hopefully) the next 100
years. If her early experience of it is positive, she won't be scared.
If her early experience is negative (I'm separated from my parents,
with a stranger who is doing weird things to my mouth, etc.) then she
probably will be afraid.


As I clarified elsewhere, I don't think it's necessary to have a policy that
actually exludes parents. And I do think that some kids would find a dentist
scary whatever the parental attitude.

But I think you went from "dentists are inherently scary" and "any adult is a
potential abuser" to "I'm not scared of dentists, not me not me you got me
wrong" a little quick. I think this is a case where first impressions are
closer to truth. It's worthwhile for you to think about to what extent you're
teaching your kids to fear and not trust medical practitioners. If you're gonna
stick to your mother-bear stance and insist it's the only way, OK, whatever.
But your child is going to pick up on what a scary world you have to mother-bear
against.

Banty


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