Re: Kinda OT... Cleaning/Decluttering?


"shinypenny" <shinypenny0001@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1143122485.717669.180030@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xkatx wrote:
Yikes! Where do I start??

Anyone have any tips or ideas? I have this urge (that I've had for sooo
long) to just clean, clean, clean and get rid of ALL the clutter. This
place is a disaster, not because it's so dirty, but because there's just
way
too much stuff... Toys, clothes, you name it, we have way too much of
it...
Does anyone have any suggestions?

I also recommend www.flylady.net

I've sorted through some boxes in the
basement that have been filled with toys - probably about 10 medium-large
boxes, and I was able to give away, so far, a big box full of random
toys.

For toys I learned eventually that two tubs of toys were about all the
kids could reasonably handle, without being overwhelmed. Two tubs are
easy to pick up at the end of the day too. So keep two of your boxes
out and pack the rest in the garage, attic, basement. You don't have to
throw them out, just rotate boxes when the kids get bored with the
current supply in rotation. When you bring out a new box, it'll be like
xmas for them.

(Of course I'm not counting here things like art supplies, books and
games which lived neatly on the shelves - I'm talking about the loose
toys that didn't fit on a shelf).


I know my style is The Hoarder... "This might come in handy some day!"
(found a bit of info on one page about trying to declutter)

My rule of thumb is:

1) Have I used it within a year?
2) Do I have space to store it?

If the answer is no I give it away. My rule for new acquisition is:

1) Do I have space to store it?
2) If not, what am I willing to part with to make room for it?

I've done pretty well with most areas of the house, but clothes still
tend to be my biggest issue. We have tiny closets and I love clothes.
If I want to buy a new outfit, I force myself to prune out one item
from my closet. Any item will do - I can trade an old pair of ratty
slippers for a brand new suit. Following this practice in the kitchen
has also been great, because I find I am slowly upgrading my pots,
pans, dishes, etc to higher quality items instead of just acquiring
more of the low quality junk.

I have all kinds, for example, of kitchen gadgets - sandwitch/snack
maker,
hand chopper, blender, coffee pot, kettle, toaster, electric mixer, small
grill, rice cooker, crock pot (x2), etc, and I don't think I've ever once
used this snack/sandwitch maker, the hand chopper, either crock pot, and
so
many more...

If you've never once used it, out it goes! See how simple that was?

Check!

If you still can't bear the thought of tossing these items, then make a
deal with yourself that you'll have to use the item within the next two
weeks if you want to keep it. Maybe you'll find, for example, that the
crockpot is a great piece of equipment and worth spending time learning
how to incorporate into your cooking routine. If not, then be real with
yourself and out it goes.

I do this with clothes too - I force myself to find a way to wear
something I bought but haven't worn yet. If I still can't find a way to
wear it within two weeks, out it goes because it wasn't meant to be.
(to charity or these days handed down to my kids who are wearing the
same size or back to the store if the tags are still on it and it
hasn't been an unreasonable amount of time to return it).

I use my blender all the time (mainly for baby food and milk
shakes every now and then, and I've been known to mix puddings in the
blender rather than the mixer because it's easier to clean the blender)
and
some of this stuff that I've never even used, I just can't seem to part
with
it. I know some stuff like crock pots can be handy, but I never use
them,
and I know they can get kind of expensive, especially when I was given
them
for my birthday, Xmas, whatever... I just can't part with junk I don't
want,
need or use.

Perhaps it'd be easier if instead of tossing or giving to charity you
gave these items away to friends who can use them? Or try craigslist or
freecycle and offer them up to people who will get use out of them.
Then you can release the guilt along with the clutter.

Also, the toys... We have so many toys that no one even looks at. Some
have
been packed in boxes for months and months, some even for a year or two,
but
I sort through it and *I* want to keep it because I remember it, or
someone
pipes up that this is their favorite toy, or they missed it so much...

Your problem there was opening the box again to sort through it. When
we have a box that nobody's touched in two years, I toss the box
without opening it. I did this a few years after we moved. We kept a
lot of things in boxes and lived for awhile to see what would make it
out of the box and into a place in our new home. For months I was going
down to the basement to find the box that had the XYZ to retrieve it.
Then at the two year mark, I figured anything still packed in a box
after two years is something I'll never miss, so I tossed the last
remaining boxes without even opening the tape. It's been another year
and there's still nothing that I can think of that I might have thrown
out but want!

I actually did this when we moved in September. Found boxes and boxes and
boxes stashed under the basement stairs. Lots of the boxes were destroyed
by cats scratching and sleeping on and had cat hair all over them, some with
some water damage as well, and I just took all those boxes out to the
garbage if I took a quick peek and they were garbage like papers, and stuff
in boxes that weren't destroyed, and I saw they were toys or whatever, I did
drop them off and donated them to Goodwill. Now, however, the only thing
packed in boxes still are mostly all toys. I don't want to just haul those
off in case there's parts to other toys or something... This is the reason I
know I should sort through it all. I did, about 2 weeks ago, go through
boxes... One at a time. I had the baby's playpen set up for 'Stuff to
Keep', a box for giveaway, a garbage bag for trash, and a small box beside
the playpen for toys I know had parts to them that could be around. Gave
away 2 boxes of stuff that day as well. Some of that stuff hasn't even been
missed by anyone yet!

Any
ideas on how I can part with my junk and how I can get little ones to
part
with theirs? Should I just get down to it when I'm home alone and no one
would know the difference?

That's my usual M.O., although others may disagree with me here on this
one. But I'm good at knowing which items they will absolutely have a
bird if I toss, no matter how infrequently they might use it. I think
in all the years I've been tossing while they're at their dad's, I've
only accidentally tossed the wrong thing a few times. Mostly homework,
not toys. But my arguement there is that if it's important you wouldn't
leave it laying around looking like trash to discard! They've learned
quickly - if important paperwork is left on the table, floor, etc,
looking like trash, don't expect it not to get trashed.

My kids are older now - 11 and 13 - but a few months ago while they
were at their dad's I did a complete overhaul of their closets. They
have walk-in closets that were getting out of hand. I pulled everything
out, went to the Container Store for closet organizer stuff, installed
new shelves and rods and drawers, bought see-through plastic bins, etc.
Then I sorted through all their stuff, things to give away, toss, keep,
hold to ask the kids first. Giveaway pile included clothing I knew
they'd outgrown, toys they were too old to play with, broken toys, and
things I knew they'd never miss. For each girl I ended up with three
garbage bags filled with giveaways, two bags of trash, and a pile of
"hold" items that covered their entire bed.

I then put back all the "keep" items nice and neatly. When they
returned, I showed them their newly organized closets and they were so
happy! You can now actually walk into them, LOL, because there's
nothing lying on the floor. There's room for all their clothes,
everything easily accessible with it's own logical place to live.

Once they saw how pruning it down made everything fit better, they
didn't want to keep anything in the "hold" pile!! Which goes to show
kids really do like a decluttered, organized space. They were more than
willing to toss 99% of the remainder instead of cluttering the closet
back up again. (The one item they both wanted to keep was a big bulky
furry costume grandma made them - but neither one wanted to hang it in
their closet because it takes up way too much room. So we compromised
and I found a place to keep it with our seasonal clothes storage).

It's been a few months and the closets are still neat as a pin. We did
buy more new clothes recently but DD's on their own initiative pruned
out their stuff to make room for the new clothes, tossing items they
will never wear, outgrown stuff, etc. I just keep a box in a hall
closet for giveaways and when it's full we drop it off at goodwill.
DD11 was also inspired to do a massive declutter on the rest of her
room. For the first time ever, all she has on her nightstand is her
alarm clock and a lamp. This is just amazing to me, since she's always
been the hoarder-of-knick-knacks in our family!

And as a plus, the rest of the house is keeping more picked up too.
Before the closet declutter, I'd ask them to put their stuff away but
they had no room to put it away. Now they do.

I tend to keep clothes. If the kids had them new, or if they were hand me
downs (the boss' wife often sends bags of clothes for us since her boys are
7 and 9) and even that stuff I tend to keep. I do, however, have a friend
with a little boy who is 3 - 2 years younger than DS2, and if no one's worn
something and has grown out of it, or if they've worn it very little, I do
box that stuff up and give it to this friend for her boy. DD can wear a lot
of boy clothes - jeans, anyone can wear, sweats, even pj's can be worn by a
girl after he brothers... And, now that we're expecting one more, and don't
know what this one is, and we're not planning on finding out, I am finding
that I am now keeping EVERYTHING. They are all in boxes and stashed up at
the tops of closets and out of the way, though.

That then leaves the question of my household
junk... I seem to keep it all... Is this something that the kids can help
out with? Something DH can help with? I should do on my own? With a
friend or family member?

It's tempting to do it all at once. Flylady advises 15 minutes at a
time, and working in zones. But I also think sometimes you do just need
to dive in and do a total "reset." Problem with that is if you don't
relearn new habits, you'll just find your house a cluttered mess again.
So yes, by all means, go ahead and do a massive spring cleaning if
you're motivated, but also take a look at flylady and think about
strategies to keep the house decluttered going forward.

As for whether to enlist your family, I wouldn't enlist your kids if
they are young. If clutter is overwhelming to you as an adult, it's
going to be even more overwhelming to a young child. Also they will be
much more likely to not want to part with anything. It is good to teach
kids not to hoard but you do this by setting examples over the years
and providing them with a decluttered, organized space. They learn on
their own that is preferable.

That's true.

If you are a natural hoarder, this is going to be a process, not
something you change overnight! It's been a long process for me - I
started when my kids were very young and today I am in a groove having
developed better habits. It's paying off now with the kids. So be
patient.

I think I might be. I know my mom might have something to do with that, but
almost in an opposite way... She always had 'things' - so did my dad, and
actually, they both still do. My mom also has a lot bigger of a house -
probably at least 2-3 times the size of our small 3 bedroom townhouse. For
as long as I can remember, my parents have always had little knick-knacks.
Buuut... Everything always had an acceptable place. The china cabinet from
my great grandma was always set for the old, antique dishes that my great
grandma had. Also, little (I guess important?) ornaments and stuff like
that also have a shelf in the china cabinet. My mom has taken a liking to
chickens. Well, poultry. Ever since they remodeled their entire kitchen
about 4 years ago, she's been collecting chickens and roosters like there's
no tomorrow. Ugly ones, scary ones, as nice of a chicken as they come...
She has a giant rooster - about 3' tall - sitting on top of her fridge.
It's ugly as can be, but she has it anyways, but again, it's not so
cluttered because everything does seem to be organized. My mom's a
collector, but she's never been a clutter-hoarder. I think maybe I began my
cluttering when it was something that just wasn't really allowed growing up.
You could keep stuff, but you had to have a proper place to keep stuff. I
just don't have a proper place to keep everything... This is definitely
rubbing off on the kids... DS keeps every little paper he brings home from
school, whereas he insists on leaving them everywhere. I pick it up and
toss it in the garbage. I do keep, however, some stuff, even if it is left
on the floor, table, wherever... Stuff that I'd like to keep - like this
first paper he brought home from kindergarden that he actually wrote his own
name on. I do try and keep whatever can fit in a small box - the kind you
get a flat of beer in. He also has a drawer of his bed (has a loft bed with
a book case, desk and drawers under it) and the big drawer at the bottom has
all his pictures and stuff he wants to keep, but he wants to keep
EVERYTHING. Same goes for broken toys... He's like his uncle Pete - DH's
brother - he'll break it first and STILL play with it.

As for involving your DH, it depends on how interested he is. My DH is
a big-time hoarder. He hates throwing away anything, so the only thing
I enlist him on is taking the trash out and dropping the bags off at
goodwill. I have given over one room - our guest bedroom - to his
stuff, and also the basement is his sole domain. With the guest
bedroom, we have a deal that I ignore his mess most of the time,
provided he straightens up before company comes (usually he bags
everything up and tosses it out of sight in the basement until company
leaves). With the basement, it's starting to get out of control because
he can't resist freebies on freecycle and craigslist. So I recently
requested that he discard one thing from the basement everytime he
brings home one new thing. He's grumbled but is now complying with this
- every trash day out goes something from his basement hoard.

Alright, I AM your husband... He must be my long lost clone or something, or
maybe I am his long lost clone. What you described your husband as, that IS
me. DH is the one that hoards as well, like he's got himself a big metal
toolbox that is packed with useless crap - broken bike chain pieces, busted
bike brake cables, rusty nails and screws, knives without blades, hammers
without handles, the list is endless. He won't part with his stuff, but
he's the first to clean up and trash my stuff... I've bent on the tool
issue... He has a lot of tools... Hammers, saws, nails, well, he's a
carpenter by trade. Any screwdriver, nail, bolt and hammer that I find
anywhere, it goes immediately into his tool box, regardless of if it was
something I had bought from a dollar store or something he paid a fair
amount for at a real hardware store. He doesn't mind that, and his tools
are in the 'allowed' area of stuff. I am also the one who can't resist the
freebies on freecycle... He comes home from work, and I don't even have time
to open my mouth and say, "Hi! How was work?" and he says, "So, what junk
do you have to pick up tonight?" I did, however, freecycle a whole bunch of
stuff the other day when I said I would. I had posted all the stuff from
the kitchen that I probably mentioned somewhere, and I also added in the
offer that whatever is not physically gone from my home by Thursday night
will be taking a trip to the Goodwill, and I made it clear that whatever is
not picked up for whatever reason, it's gone and if you come after it's
gone, sorry about your luck. People have been great picking up so far, and
one lady didn't make it last night because she had some family issues. She
has the rest of today to make it before that crock pot and the tray of
utensils is gone to donation spots!
DH was proud of me when he saw the kitchen sink. He came home from work a
couple hours earlier and was shocked to see me scrubbing the bejeezus out of
the sinks!

Good luck!

jen



.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Gays are richer
    ... they don't have kids that want new bikes, clothes, toys, fast ...
    (soc.culture.thai)
  • Re: How to make a 3 year old understand
    ... I've never had a problem buying toys at Walmart, but I have noticed you like ... your things in near perfect condition, including probably the boxes. ... OTOH, kids play with the toys at nearly all the toy stores I've been to, so ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: kids and their furniture?
    ... treat their other belongings with not as much care. ... But sometimes, kids ... making throwing things into the toybox as a game is disrespectful ... You're restating me - I didn't say "toys" in general, ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: WOOOO HOOOO
    ... new toys are soo much better after you have to work for it. ... I checked out the options with most of the major DSL carriers ... cigarettes not smoked, saving $664.90. ... values in their kids. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: kids and their furniture?
    ... But sometimes, kids may ... The cars, for instance. ... You're restating me - I didn't say "toys" in general, ... The balls are kept in cases on his shelves, ...
    (misc.kids)