5 year old and dealing with his thoughts and feelings... Need some help :(

Hi, I'm kind of at a loss as to where to turn, but I'm having some troubles
here...
My son is 5, and there's some things that I just don't know how to deal with
or approach...

We were in a pretty bad car accident on Feb. 2, 2006. Car is a write off,
and anyways, we all walked away fairly lucky. My son was the one that had
the most and biggest injuries. He had a pretty bad scalp laceration right
across his forehead, which we (5 year old DS, 6mo old DD and I) went to the
Children's Hospital in an ambulance for and I stayed over night and the next
day in the hospital with DS. DS went into the OR and the plastic surgeon
was able to stitch up DS's forehead and 1 week later, we had a follow up
with that surgeon. He said that the wound was healing up very well, and DS
would be able to go back to school the following Monday (which was just last
Monday) and that there's no need to keep the wound covered up all the time.
Let it air out as much as possible during the day, and there was no need to
keep it covered even at school.

I covered it up for the first day back at school (he's in kindergarden and
home for the rest of the day at lunch time) and wanted to see if the gauze
came back all dirty or if it stayed fairly clean... He's wanted to keep it
covered when we go out anywhere all along.

It's now been 2 and a half weeks since the accident, and he still wants to
keep the bandage on, even though it's pretty much done most of the big
healing parts. There's no more open wounds, the stitches have pretty much
dissolved, and now it's all basically back to normal, other than some red
scarring area, which will also heal still and become less and less
noticeable...

He went last night with my aunt and uncle to spend the night and then spend
the day today with them. They did their normal activities... Went and did
some shopping, went to McDonald's for lunch to go to the play area and
slides, and then took him to a movie. His gauze had been getting quite
ratty and was starting to fall off earlier in the day, so my uncle just took
it right off. At McDonald's slides, he went off to play as he's always
loved doing. He came back to my aunt and told her he wanted a bandage back
on his forehead because all the kids were staring at his scar. He seems to
be very self conscious of it, and I really don't blame him. I have always
told him that it's healing very well. It really is. He looks in the mirror
and sees it, and makes a face, and I tell him not to worry about it. He's
still just as hansome as always and I tell him his body needs time to heal.
I don't know how to deal with this. It hurts me so much for him to think
like this, but I see no reason why his feelings aren't justified and they're
definitely not irrationable. His hair is starting to grow back from where
it was shaved off, and his bangs are uneven, but he doesn't seem to care
about that, and with the gauze taped on his forehead, you can't even notice
it.

Both DH and I have had no problems at all putting the gauze back on him when
we go out, but at home we like to keep it off to allow it to heal and get
some air. I've never once forced him to go out without the bandage on OR
off, but sitting around at home I talk him out of keeping it covered.

I had kind of thought that he didn't like the way it looked when he had gone
back to school the first day he was able to and he wanted to keep it covered
up, even after the surgeon said we can keep it open from now on. I've been
sending him to school with it covered and he comes home with it still
covered. When my aunt told me what he had said earlier at lunch time when
he was playing, I felt almost like there were little knives being stabbed
into my heart because I kind of feel the same way he does, but I do feel
some guilt and maybe even some shame. No matter what anyone says or doesn't
say, I will still feel that we shouldn't have out that evening and none of
this should have happened. I doubt anything will make me stop thinking
that...

This event, I guess, has made me want to call that lawyer we've been dealing
with and see if he can get some wheels turning. It will be a while, I know,
no matter what, but I'm going to go after getting DS's head fixed as best as
it possibly can be. That means if more cosmetic surgery is in order to
remove scars, I am going to go for that for my son. If scar treatment of
any kind can be done, I am going to go with it, and none of this is going to
be covered, which means that it will cost, and I will do what I can for him
to have this done and have the scars as minimal as possible. It makes me
want to hunt this lawyer down and tell him NOW because it's just not fair to
a 5 year old... Even though I know it's still so early and the wound is so
fresh and still needs time to heal. Even when I was told scars would be
minimal, I seem to doubt that deep down.

Is there a good way that I can handle this? What can I say or should I not
say to him when he says that the other kids are staring? I feel that it's
in HIS best interest, for him and the way he thinks and feels, to keep it
covered if that's what he wants. He usually has no problem keeping it open
while at home or familiar places, but out in public is when it seems to be
an issue and thought for him...
Any suggestions from that mess of babbling?
Anything would be much appreciated... I'm just at a loss as to what I should
do :(

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