Re: laundry and house cleaning poll - for those with little ones!

In article <do9mk302cch@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
Banty <Banty_member@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> In article <rNOdnYzV6dA8xzXenZ2dnUVZ_sednZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, bizby40 says...
> >
> >
> >"Banty" <Banty_member@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> >news:do92d20g1k@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> >> In article <KaKdnQ2vYN9WYzreRVn-gw@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, bizby40 says...
> >>>"Banty" <Banty_member@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> >>>news:do8sa0030pi@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> >>>> So, it's OK to say "oh don't worry stop doing the housework the kids
> >>>> grow
> >>>> up
> >>>> fast to someone whose house is *dirty* and they're trying to get it
> >>>> *clean*?
> >>>
> >>>Sure -- if they're stressed out about not being able to keep it
> >>>clean, I think it's fine to remind them that a clean house isn't the
> >>>be all and end all.
> >>
> >> In what other things do you feel comfortable setting others' priorities?
> >
> >I don't feel comfortable setting their priorities. If cleaning was
> >a priority for them, it probably would have gotten done.
>
> Well, no, that's not quite true. There are *competing* priorities.
>
> >If
> >they don't bring up the cleanliness or messiness of their house,
> >I certainly won't. But sheesh, if they are sitting there lamenting
> >the state of their house to you, assuring them that it doesn't
> >matter is a *supportive* thing to do!
>
> I dont' think the statementst that get on some folks' nerves only come as a
> response to kvetching about trying to keep the house clean. I've been simply
> *cleaning*, and the comment be made "oh, leave that alone you have a
> baby...".

And, as I've said several times, I would never dream of doing that. I
can't imagine commenting on someone else's housekeeping, absent them
inviting comment.

>
> But even if the house-cleaner is on a rant - isn't "supportive" to *listen*,
> and
> maybe even to offer *help*?? Not say "oh no you're wrong that shoudn't be
> important to you" (Well, people don't quite say *that*, but it gets pretty
> close...)

Personally, I'm not likely to offer to help clean someone else's house!
I don't like doing housework anywhere.

I'll offer other kinds of help -- I can hold the baby, babysit, take the
older kids out for a walk -- and i do offer all kinds of things like
that if I see someone who is overwhelmed.

However, the situation would have to be damned bad for *me* to offer to
help with housework! Chances are good that anyone who is complaining
has a house that's already cleaner than mine.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

.

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