Re: 3 year old "defiant" behaviour
- From: Chookie <ehrebeniuk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 07 Dec 2005 23:57:21 +1100
In article <eEklf.32026$tV6.1063@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
"jojo" <cgv_2000*yourhat*@yahoo.com> wrote:
> A simple example....
> ds: turning the light switch on and off rapidly.
> DS, will you stop playing with the switch.
> ds: no response, continues behavior
> DS, are you listening to my words, stop playing with the switch.
> DS, this is your warning. Stop playing with the switch now.
> ds: no response, continues behavior
> OK, time out.
> ds: No mommy, I stopped I stopped (stops)
Firstly, as you've noticed, this is too wordy and you are spending too long
giving warnings. Mine is:
> A simple example....
> ds: turning the light switch on and off rapidly.
> DS, will you stop playing with the switch.
> ds: no response, continues behavior
ONE... TWO... THREE!
This gives me time to think of a punishment that's really meeeean, and usually
at three I will physically remove the child from temptation.
I had a success recently when DS1 burped in a cafe. When he did it the third
time, he missed out on "paying" (he takes the money to the counter and brings
back the change). There were tears, but he hasn't made any uncouth noises in
any cafe since. Home is another story :-/
> So, what are some techniques you have used to help redirect, or get a
> positive response?
Firstly, little boys should have more interesting things to do than flick
light switches. What is he supposed to be doing when he's flicking the
switch? Could he be bored?
Check that the books and toys are being used; rotate the toys, buy more books,
etc -- keep his playthings from being boring.
At this age, they don't play on their own for long, but they are often very
keen on "helping", so involve him in household work as much as you can. My
4yo still counts to 3 so I can turn the vaccuum cleaner on! He dusts, wipes
surfaces at his height, and likes using the toilet brush, for example (I use
vinegar to clean the toilet, nothing poisonous).
Make sure he is getting enough exercise. Little boys have LOTS of energy and
when DS1 is climbing the furniture, jumping around or otherwise being silly, I
know he needs to kick a ball with me. Make sure you have some active indoor
toys for bad weather -- hopscotch, those balls you bounce on, anything you
have space for.
> The biggest problem at school is nap time. He refuses to nap. (he loved to nap)
> I don't think he has grown out of them, he still takes naps at home
> and if he does not take one at school, he falls asleep on the way home.
And, I presume, is up late as a result. Have you explained to the school that
you *need* him to take a nap? They may not realise that it's important to
you. If *they* have been telling *you* that it's a problem, I'd question
their competence.
Our day care asks that everyone lies quietly on their beds for 15 mins or so
to allow the ones who want to to fall asleep. Of course most of them will
fall asleep at this time, but the ones who haven't are then allowed to get up
and do something quietly, eg reading, drawing.
HTH,
--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)
"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.
.
- References:
- 3 year old "defiant" behaviour
- From: jojo
- 3 year old "defiant" behaviour
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