10 Rules for Thanksgiving (USA)

Thanksgiving is coming up Here are 10 rules


Rule 1: If the recipe is not in your head, handwritten on a note card,
or a piece of grease stained note paper passed down from generation to
generation, it probably won't work without a lot of trial and error.
Now is not the time to try out the recipes in the fancy cooking
magazines.

Rule 2: Don't forget to remove that gross looking little paper bag
full of turkey guts before baking your holiday bird. The turkey
companies like to call that stuff "fixins" for giblet gravy. I know of
no one who would go to the trouble of boiling up a turkey neck, and
other unidentifiable innards to make gravy. Ditch it before somebody
gets hurt.

Rule 3: Stick to the basics. Pumpkin pie is just that. Nobody is
interested in sinking their teeth into a big ol' slice of tofu pumpkin
pie. I don't care how good it is for you, It's just not Thanksgiving.

Rule 4: Nix the oyster dressing.

Rule 5: Deep-fried turkeys are tasty, but in the hands of a novice,
the cooking process can be dangerous. If you want the local fire
department over for dinner, simply let your turkey fryer boil over and
erupt in flames.

Rule 6: It's OK to serve a can of jellied cranberry sauce. Just
remember to chill it down before serving and, of course, take it out
of the can.

Rule 7: It is acceptable to serve wine with a traditional Thanksgiving
dinner. A nice Riesling is fine. Avoid, however, serving hard liquor.
Family bonding does not mean collecting enough money at the dinner
table to bond out a favorite uncle arrested for being drunk and
disorderly.

Rule 8: Pass to the right and take from the left. Experienced waiters
and waitresses know this rule. If you want to avoid embarrassing food
collisions at the dinner table, just remember this simple rule.

Rule 9: Invest in a few cloth napkins. Paper towels are great for
pizza and beer, but do nothing to make a holiday meal truly special.

Rule 10: Remember that it is better to give than to receive. Make sure
you have enough plastic storage containers and lids that everybody
takes something home. Leftovers belong with your guests.

grandma Rosalie
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: thanksgiving expenses got you down?
    ... Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family, ... person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner. ... But paying $40 for a Turkey dinner with ... and don't hesitate to report gauche granny to the IRS about that ...
    (rec.food.cooking)
  • Re: Thanksgiving dinner - mid-day or evening meal ?
    ... My wife and I make two exceptions to that rule. ... exceptions are Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. ... With sliced turkey, corn bread dressing (rather ...
    (soc.retirement)
  • Re: Happy Thanksgiving To All Who Celebrate It
    ... We were going to have a turkey for dinner but no one wanted to invite Yads ... Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. ... uncomfortable family gathering. ...
    (rec.arts.drwho)
  • Re: thanksgiving expenses got you down?
    ... For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving ... Thanksgiving dinner. ... That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings ... now and they wanted to pitch in some money to help with expenses. ...
    (rec.food.cooking)
  • Re: So...Im lazy. Indulge me.
    ... I've never brined a turkey. ... I made the entire dinner for my family. ... I alter the brine ingredients, eliminating what I don't have (like candied ... gallon iced water ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
Loading