Re: Explaining sister's divorce to my boys


"annie" <annesmithjunkmail@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1130182466.240096.65070@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>I would love to hear some thoughts on how to explain my sister's
> divorce to my 2 older sons (ages 9 and 7). We aren't very close to
> my sister's family, so it won't have much of an effect on them
> personally, but we will be seeing my sister and niece (also 9) on
> Thanksgiving and I want to talk to them about what is/is not
> appropriate to say to them. My 9 year old is very compassionate and I
> know his first thoughts are going to be for his cousin and he's going
> to want to do something to make her feel better. I'd like to have
> some ideas ready to suggest.
>
> I also want to choose my words carefully so that there's assurance
> that this won't happen to our family, so any suggestions on how to
> communicate that would be great.
>
> Thanks for any advice.
My first thought was perhaps to try to stop them from making any comments.
If it's new and raw, then the best meant comments could be hurtful,
particularly with a child's point of view. I don't think there's much that
they can say which will make it better, so if you can help them to let the
cousin take the lead, ie if she talks about it, then fine they can listen
and comfort (not insult the uncle either), but not to say anything if she
doesn't want to. But I would certainly tell them so they don't leap into any
"where's Uncle...?" sort of comments.
I don't have personal experience, so I expect someone else can give better
insight to it.
Debbie


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