When Older Children Wear Diapers


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Was there something else going on? There's nothing specially weird
about a 4 y-o in diapers, to my mind; so I wonder if there was some
other problem between your father and yourself.

I can see what your father might have been thinking: That the little
boy that you were was just potty-trained (and he might not have known
how reliably); that he couldn't stop the bus the way he could stop a
car for a baby to take a potty-break; and he wouldn't be able to deal
with a puddle en route.

The fact that this was so serious for you suggests there was something
more to this. Was he an abusive parent?

Rupa -

No, there was nothing else going on. But, I think in a way you're
minimizing the situation. I don't think you're doing it intentionally
however.

During the potty training process, you're always told that you're a
"big boy" when you use the bathroom and that diapers are for babies.
So, when you suddenly feel as though you attained a new kind of
"status", only to be treated like a baby once again, it kills any
self-esteem that was previously there.

I knew I was too old to wear a diaper, and that I knew how to use the
bathroom. Because of this, I couldn't understand why my Dad started
diapering me again. Could you imagine being 4 up until 5 being
undressed and diapered like a baby by your Dad when you knew how to use
the bathroom? Even seeing the box of diapers in the living room upset
me. I still remember the stupid Luvs & Pampers boxes.

This is why I take the situation so "seriously". I don't see how I
could feel any other way. In your post you had said "I can see what
your father might have been thinking: That the little
boy that you were was just potty-trained (and he might not have known
how reliably); that he couldn't stop the bus the way he could stop a
car for a baby to take a potty-break; and he wouldn't be able to deal
with a puddle en route." but the thing is I wasn't a baby. I was 4.
When I see a 4-year-old and see how capable they are of expressing
themselves and see their sense of pride, I wonder my Dad couldn't see
the same qualities within yself.

I even felt self-concious when I walked b/c the diapers I wore made a
lot of noise under my pants. Wearing the diaper made me feel as though I
was inept and that I was different from other kids my age. Even today I
feel as though I was put back in diapers b/c my parents thought I was
intellectually deficient. I fail to see why else a parent would put a
diaper on a boy until 5 years of age. (He started putting me back in
them at 4, but it continued until I began school)

I have to admit though, seeing that you perhaps thought my Dad's
decision may have been justified caused me to feel a sense of relief.
I have no idea why. I know what that experience did to me, but it made
me feel like maybe my Dad didn't do something that HE KNEW was bound to
hurt me. I've only spoken to my dad twice since I confronted him b/c I
felt as though he didn't care about this. But, I still love my Dad in
my own way even though I try not to.

Joel

PS I'm not used to posting on this board, so I'm not familiar with the
various vb codes. Sorry in advance for not doing that great of a job
of quoting text. I still don't know how you guys properly quote
someones dialouge. Thanks for listening anyway. JH


--
joelny81
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