Re: OT: compilers, interpreters, and VMs


"Rod Pemberton" <do_not_have@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:f5cgen$7vr$1@xxxxxxxxxxx

"cr88192" <cr88192@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
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I never really measured or scheduled the time of day, I think I just do
it
"whenever" (aka: when not all emo, or in some bizarre rampage, or
distracted
by things like watching shows/anime/..., or writing emails or posting on
usenet, ...).


No rampages here.

Not distracted by TV, but I will watch for long hours if I'm bored.

I am distracted by music if it's a song I enjoy.

Do you sleep on a regular schedule? I've found that my sleep wants to
shift
by about 1 hour per day - if I don't wake up at a fixed time.


ok.

at some times, I can hardly sleep (going into phases where I can only sleep
2/3 hours at a time, or sometimes not at all...).


in stronger forms, I can't even code, more often I end up doing things
completely random and/or pacing around the house, ...


I used to pace - many years ago. It was usually when I was intensely
interested in some idea. Frequently on Saturdays, when I normally
would've
been outside doing something active - playing or riding a bike. The
pacing
seemed to keep me focused on the idea and consume the energy that would've
gone into physical activity.


yeah.
I have never really been all that physically active though, and often in
these states my thoughts are unfocused and chaotic...


Look at all the women who've dealt with PMS, PPD, etc. for centuries
before
they were recognized as health issues. There were many great writers who
were manic-depressive and/or heavy drug or alcohol users (I'm not
recommending that...). A friend, when he found out I listened to
MegaDeath,
asked me why I'd listen to a drug user, since Mustaine had seven drugs in
his system. He recommended I listen to someone wholesome, like Elvis.
Elvis died with ten in his system... :) Another college acquaintance
once
told me Savatage's "Hall of the Mountain King" was Satanic. His parents
told him. His church told him. And, I almost couldn't get the guy off
the
subject. So, I asked what he listened to: INXS. And, what his parents
listened to: classical. AHA! They loved harder classical composers such
as
Beetoven and Bach. So, I then discussed Rachmoninov with him for a while.
He said it'd be a great Christmas present for them and he asked if there
were any other similar composers... So, I told him Edvard Grieg!
(Classical composer and original author of "In the Hall of the Mountain
King", of which the Savatage album is partly based.)


back, earlier when I first turned to religion, I had felt uncertain/guilty
that my main musical preferences are goth and industrial, but eventually
came to the conclusion that it did not matter.


now, my moral sensibilities are pretty well stretched out / deformed, and I
can't even seem to fully condemn things that, when I were raised, were
regarded as horrible (such as magics use and homosexuality).

I still do not feel they are good by any means, but actively accusing and
condemning people for them is something I am ever less able to do in good
conscience.


usually, I feel I need someone to talk to (and I guess can be rather
annoying), and these states are more often dominated by writing long and
sometimes largely-incoherent emails...


Author? Writer?


maybe...
I have written a few short stories...


other times I read a lot, but often I can't wait around long enough to
read
stuff (attention span too limited). need to "do" something, and reading
stuff is not "doing" anything (patience can be intolerable).


Sports? Cycling? Hiking? Nature photography?


not really physical.

when I am like this, I need to "do" something, but, usually it is more
random, ...

photography would likely take too much focus for these states (if I can
hardly even focus enough to read, what makes one think I would have the
focus to find things and take pictures?...).

most other times, I am more lethargic, and don't do much.


I may find that I can't code (because my mental focus and coherency is
simply too low), but sitting around with nothing to do is difficult to
deal
with.


Beach? Volleyball? Sports?


again, I am not physical...


I have found that, of all things, some childrens shows seem to work ok at
keeping me distracted in these states (more normal shows don't work as
well). I think unbalanced energy levels and limited attention span are
what
these shows were designed for...

other times, these shows are distasteful and almost unwatchable (fast
paced,
spastic, and filled with retardation and bright colors...).


Unfortunately, those and the above symptoms are signs of _many_ brain or
spinal injuries or diseases, not just manic-depression:

Autism, ADHD, Brain concussion, brain tumor, bacterial meningitis,
epilepsy,
encephalitis, migraines, Alzheimers, Parkinsons, stroke, poisoning, etc.


I also have aspergers (aka: high-functioning autism), which may be a factor
as well...



If you feel (or think) that this is interfering with or destroying your
life, I'd seek help. If it's not really interfering with your life, it
might still be wise to find out for sure that what's causing the symptoms
isn't life threatening.


well, in my case, there is always this long standing problem:
parents wont let me see psychologists or doctors.

also, I have parents that try to almost completely control my life (I am
hardly allowed to do much of anything, and nearly any thoughts or opinions I
have about anything are disregarded). in a way, it makes sense (I am at
times barely able to operate). but, at the same time, at least part of it
may be something that the medical community could help with.



Rod Pemberton



.

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