Re: OT. Stupid Developer Tricks



On Apr 5, 9:59 am, "(PeteCresswell)" <x...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Per Allen Browne:

The first time Access made me laugh was in version 1, working with a field
named Spouse. The error message read:
   Spouse: item has no value.

Can't recall where this came from but....

-----------------------------------
Imagine if instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer
produced error messages in Haiku...

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

Wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-----------------------------------

--
PeteCresswell

What a great idea!!! I think, from now on, I will program all my
applications' error traps in Haiku!

- GL
.



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