Re: high cheekbones

Mike M wrote:

Purl Gurl wrote:
iwasaki wrote:
Purl Gurl wrote:
iwasaki wrote:

I couldn't see much of her face because of the blood, but
I could tell that she was lovely. She had high cheekbones
and large round eyes, pale blue like an autumn sky, and
her hair was short and fair.

"She has" unless her cheekbones are destroyed or removed,
she still has her cheekbones.

There must be a certain reason that the author used the
past tense.

His usage is "common" rather than "grammatical" in nature.

Use of past tense, incorrectly, is exceedingly common.
We are taught to speak and write in a passive past tense
voice which frequently leads to poor sentence structure.
This type of voice is the most "easy" voice to use and
is a favorite of Lazy Tongue people.

Sorry Purl Gurl, but this is plain nonsense.

Well darn, why do you have to begin your article
with a personal insult? Yours is nonsense.

You lost my interest with your opening volley. You are
writing about yourself, paraphrased, "No matter what you
write, I will claim what you write to be nonsense, right
or wrong."

Being bored with other articles, I have returned to
humiliate you for insulting me with your nonsense.


There *are* some circumstances in which your tense switch would work.

This is incorrect. Use of different temporal tenses can be used for
almost any writing circumstances, and done so with style and flair.

Shifting through time only requires some writing skills. Your insulting
"nonsense" comment suggests to me you have poor writing skills. Those
with good writing skills know what you claim is the actual nonsense.


"Purl Gurl and I are inseparable. I remember when I first met her -
she walked into the room and I was struck by her beauty. She has high
cheekbones, which caught my eye immediately".

This works because the narrator is actually talking about Purl Gurl in

What narrator? There is no narrator. A main character is speaking.
You have not a clue about what is a narrator.

Nah, you have slaughtered your writing. Your paragraph exhibits lots of
problems which are typical of an author with lesser writing skills. This
is interesting you "lecture" on writing style yet exhibit a typical
writing skill level of a high school kid.

A real eye catcher is your hyphen. What the heck is that all about?

When you write, "I remember when I first met her...." you have shifted
your voice backwards in time to a present tense. This is much like in
movies when a character reflects on a past event and a transition is
made, such as fading out, focus on an item then fuzzy focus, swirling
of a scene, other words, an intended visual shift to note moving into
the past and to a present tense.

You shift to present tense but continue to use past tense verbs. Yours
is very poor writing style. Very clear to me you have not a clue about
good writing style; your writing style is nonsense.

I will rip you a bit more in exchange for insulting me with your
opening nonsense line.

"I remember when I first met her...." Nope, your arrogant self-centered
ego is splattered all over your sentence. You think in terms of only
yourself, which is vile self-centered egotism.

"I remember when _we_ first met...."

Knock off this "I I I me me me my my my" nonsense.

You are writing about her and you need to made a transition to her. Usage
of "we" begins this shifting of focus to her, and she is your topic, not you.

"I remember when we first met." Now you are in the present tense of the past.
All your following verbs should be present tense. Your verbs are predominately
past tense which violates your shift to a present tense of a past event. You
are slaughtering your writing.

How am I to take you seriously when your writing style is so juvenile?

I am bored with your nonsense. Maybe I will return to your nonsense, later.

--
Purl Gurl
--
"Then again what can you expect from a fat-assed, champagne swilling,
half-breed just off the Rez?"
- Joe Kline
.

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