Re: Long Sentence Help

Todd Burns:
2. "These factors, coupled with the failure to recognize that the age
of a theory and the number of authorities supporting it cannot make it
true, allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for
centuries, in some circles even after experiments conclusively showed
otherwise. This to a large extent because the notion of a heliocentric
solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had
been psychologically, emotionally, professionally and religiously
vested in for ages.

Donna Richoux:
"This *** to a large extent" needs a verb, like "persisted," "occurred,"
or "happened."

Or just "was". "This was, to a large extent, ...", or with no commas,
"To a large extent this was". Of course there are many other ways to
break up the original unwieldy sentence as well. It would probably
read better as three or four short sentences.
--
Mark Brader | "Unless developers are careful, good software
Toronto | attracts so many improvements that it eventually
msb@xxxxxxx | rolls over and sinks..." --Ben & Peter Laurie
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Long Sentence Help
    ... of a theory and the number of authorities supporting it cannot make it ... allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for ... solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had ... readers won't grasp the difference between the universe and the idea of ...
    (alt.usage.english)
  • Re: Long Sentence Help
    ... the age of a theory and the number of authorities supporting ... allowed the geocentric theory of the ... large extent because the notion of a heliocentric solar system ... other ways to break up the original unwieldy sentence as well. ...
    (alt.usage.english)
  • Re: Long Sentence Help
    ... coupled with the failure to recognize that the age ... allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for ... solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had ... New evidence suggesting heliocentrism. ...
    (alt.usage.english)
  • Re: Long Sentence Help
    ... coupled with the failure to recognize that the age ... allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for ... in some circles even after experiments conclusively showed ... solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had ...
    (alt.usage.english)
  • Long Sentence Help
    ... coupled with the failure to recognize that the age ... allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for ... in some circles even after experiments conclusively showed ... solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had ...
    (alt.usage.english)