Re: Long Sentence Help

Todd <burns417@xxxxxxx> wrote:


2. "These factors, coupled with the failure to recognize that the age
of a theory and the number of authorities supporting it cannot make it
true, allowed the geocentric theory of the solar system to survive for
centuries, in some circles even after experiments conclusively showed
otherwise. This to a large extent because the notion of a heliocentric
solar system severely threatened a world view that many people had
been psychologically, emotionally, professionally and religiously
vested in for ages.

"This *** to a large extent" needs a verb, like "persisted," "occurred,"
or "happened."

You could actually cut "This to a large extent because the notion of"
and it would read just fine. Or keep "The notion of" if you really think
readers won't grasp the difference between the universe and the idea of
the universe.

--
Best -- Donna Richoux


.

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