Re: convincing the authorities: definition of "espresso"

"JF" <jf@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:ll26k3HVIgyDFwhN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> X-No-Archive: yes
> In message <dqctpd$pti$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, Father Ignatius
> <FatherIgnatius@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> writes
>>"JF" <jf@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
>>news:O7LQzkAjXfyDFw0B@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>> X-No-Archive: yes
>>> In message <dqcoik$50q$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, Father Ignatius
>>> <FatherIgnatius@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> writes
>>>
>>>>Wherefore, then, does it typically take TWENTY BLEEPING MINUTES for the
>>>>waitperson to bring the damned thing?
>>>
>>> Waitperson? What sort of talk is this? I thought you were far too
>>> intelligent and macho to succumb to the ludicrous limp-wristed, mincing,
>>> pink and fluffy baby talk of the Islington thought police mob. The word
>>> is
>>> waiter (or waitress if you dealing with a wimmin). Don't be frightened
>>> of
>>> plain English. Just because the wankstains are ***-scared of language
>>> doesn't mean that you should be.
>>
>>I love the smell of a successful troll of a Sunday morning [cue discussion
>>of "of a Sunday morning" vs. "on a Sunday morning"].
>
> It's not a troll.

It's not?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll

Cue [[yet-again] renewed] discussion of "What is a troll?"
http://tinyurl.com/cnttm
where, straying briefly to the broader spectrum of contemporary AUE life, I
found the following, attrib. John Stevens in soc.genealogy.britain:


I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted to,
On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross-posted to.


Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you
For thinking me a dickhead after I've been rudely flaming you.


I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.


The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.


If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only mum could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;


If I survive to forty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable prat you hate?


But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.


I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality.



Okay, Back To Me[TM]: Well, it had seemed to me -- wait, there's a missing
syllable in the {penultimate|second-last} line above (and in the last lines
of the last two full verse?) -- that the occasional playfully provocative
usage post had appeared before on AUE, but I dare say I'm wrong. Again.
[sigh] I'm kinda sad, in a way, to have been around on the day when such
playfulness was summarily expunged from the future. But no sacrifice is too
great for a Neater UseNet, I always say. I'm kinda worried that other
posters have missed this memo, though: will The Committee please look into
the matter? Thanks.

> I have a love of simple English and dislike seeing it mangled.

Bless you, you lovable old curmudgeon, you!

Dearie me. I think I can help with that:

1. Cease hanging around places where simple English is mangled. Examples
of such places would be:

a. alt.usage.english
b. Planet Earth and surrounding solar system.

2. Switch off and unplug your computer, your television, your wireless and
all other means of audio or video reception or reproduction.

3. Cancel all newspaper and periodical subscriptions. Leave the mail in
the mailbox. Rid your house of all printed matter.

4. Close the curtains. Adopt blindfold, ear-plugs and foetal position.
Breathe into a brown-paper bag. Do not go out.

This will go at least some way to solving the prollim, but I do not claim a
complete remission, owing -- or possibly due -- to the voices in your head,
passing public-address systems, exetra.

> Why doesn't your news client strip correctly formatted signature files
> from follow-ups?

Because it has not been designed to do so, I suppose. Maybe someone who
worries about stuff like that would care to answer.

> Why can't you delete them yourself?

Simple, clear English usage would favour "Why don't you...", but let it
pass, let it pass.

I can. What I can't is be having with both those who complain of sigs being
snipped (because it makes it tougher to interpret threads, or whatever) and
those who complain of them not being snipped. Once again, I seemed to have
missed the memo about consensus having been achieved in this important area.
It's an important milestone on the road to a Neater UseNet, and I'm sorry
that I never got to get in on the act.

As it was, given the choice of preserving your advertisement for the BBC, or
not, I decided to preserve it -- as a matter of minor courtesy, one might
argue (or not, given the absence of anyone to argue with): said
advertisement is clearly more important to you than to me <shrug>.

> --
> James Follett. Novelist. (G1LXP) http://www.jamesfollett.dswilliams.co.uk
> The Silent Vulcan trilogy, starting with 'The Temple of the Winds', on
> BBC7
> Sundays 1840.

--

Nat
'This "To be light-hearted, or not to be light-hearted" business is a
minefield, I tell you. A veritable minefield."



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