Re: OT: satellites

On Mon, 15 Aug 2005 11:26:58 +0100, "Laura F. Spira"
<laura@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

>Two gentlemen (from a company with the intriguing Irish-Polish name of
>"clancydocwra", according to their van) have just begun digging up the
>road in front of our house to fiddle about with the water pipes. They
>tell me they are installing a CP point, whatever that might be, and
>that, when it's done, our water pressure will be controlled by satellite.
>
>Somehow, I don't find this very reassuring.

Since I watch all the British police dramas on television that I can,
I have to think that the water works truck parked outside of your
house contains a surveillance crew from a special Metropolitan police
squad that investigates crimes of a special nature.

The truck is crammed with three large men and a very attractive, but
under-appreciated, female seconded to this group from a flying squad
of WPCs that give lectures to school children about getting into
strange people's automobiles. In addition to the officers and the
heavy smell of bap-breath, there is a great deal of electronic
equipment and cameras with long lenses in the van. The "o" in
"clancydocwra" is really a port from which a camera lens can be poked,
and the "c" is a parabolic listening device.

I suggest that you look out and see if there is a man up on a pole
"fixing" the telephone connections that lead to your house. He will
be wearing a jump-suit with "clancydocwra" stenciled across the back,
but will be talking to his collar quite a bit.

I don't know what type of special nature crime the Spriras might be
suspected of, but I suggest that you burn, shred, or otherwise dispose
of any documents you have about the house before a carpet fitter drops
by to measure your rooms for a free carpet you have won at a
supermarket drawing. I also suggest that you communicate with family
members with greatly exaggerated hand gestures and notes written on
flash paper before you are called in to help with the enquiries.

I'm sure all of this is a mistake, and the Spiras are wrongly
suspected. However, you will have to wait until the driver of a white
Escort with a pronged-up off-side wing is located. He is the only one
that can clear you. In the meantime, assemble the family and appear
on television in a teary-eyed plea for the driver to come forward.





--
Tony Cooper
Orlando FL
.

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