Re: Semi-OT: End of life - letting people starve to death


"EnEss" <starword@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:GhQ3f.279$RI2.260@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> "MaeAngel" wrote:
>
>> "EnEss" wrote
>> <snip>
>
>> Thank you for telling this story. My mom is 89 and she has left a living
>> will. Having read your story I feel better about doing what she has
>> asked to be done when the time comes.
>
> Thank you for that. It's a painful story to tell, but I shared it in hope
> that it might be comforting to Buck, and helpful to anyone else who
> happens to read it, who might face a similar issue w/ a family member. For
> anyone who has not been through it, I know it's mortifying to imagine
> allowing such a thing to happen to a loved one...withholding hydration and
> nutrition? It sounds barbaric and the cause of unimaginable suffering.
> This is what caused such a stir in the Terri Schiavo debate. People who
> railed against it clearly had no sense of what this process is or how it's
> managed by skilled professionals who work in end-of-life care.
>
> Having seen it up close and personal I can tell you, it's nothing like the
> horror it's imagined by so many. And this isn't just my experience...since
> my mom died, I've talked to dozens of people who have been through the
> same thing w/ a dying loved one, and they've told me the same. Really,
> it's a very natural process, and a peaceful one as long as the person's
> comfort needs are attended to properly. I hope for your mother's sake, and
> her family's, the end of her life will not necessitate such actions. But
> in the event such becomes a reality, yes, you can go forward w/ what she's
> requested w/o fear you're doing something that will result in horrible
> suffering for her. Make sure that this process is supervised by a
> reputable hospice service and I'm sure you'll find that your mother's end
> will be a peaceful and very comfortable one, as well as a lot easier on
> her loved ones getting the support they need from experienced
> professionals.
>
> One caution though: make sure your mother's living will has been reviewed
> by an atty. or advocate experienced in end-of-life care decisions. She
> needs to address as many contingencies as she can think of for what she
> would like done under a variety of scenarios that face the dying . My
> parents' living will stated only that they wanted no heroic measures taken
> if there's no hope of a reasonable recovery. But the medical profession
> for the most part does not recognize artificial feeding as a "heroic
> measure". If your mother becomes debilitated to the point that she can't
> communicate but her heart continues to beat and she can breathe on her
> own, but can't take food or water by mouth, she could find herself in a
> frightening limbo while you/your family wrangle w/ health care
> professionals and possibly lawyers over just how far to go to maintain her
> life. She should make sure her living will addresses the question of tube
> feedings, hydration only, IV lines, medications. For example, does she
> want antibiotics given should she develop an infection? The idea of
> letting an infection go untreated may seem horrifying, but it could be a
> blessing. An untreated infection would probably hasten the dying process,
> which could be a lot easier on everyone, as long as enough is done to
> control pain and suffering. Would she like morphine administered for
> possible discomfort even if she develops breathing difficulty? In the
> overwhelming majority of deaths in the elderly who become severely
> debilitated, pneumonia and kidney failure will result. If nothing is done
> to treat either, breathing becomes impaired. Continuous morphine will
> induce a coma, keeping the patient absolutely unaware and very
> comfortable, but also is likely to greatly hasten death. Some medical
> teams may be hesitant to continue morphine if a patient has impaired
> breathing. If your mother specifies she would like morphine under those
> circumstances regardless, it frees the treatment staff from any liability,
> and saves family members possible wrangling over the issue.
>
> There are many points to consider, and doing everything possible to
> prepare for various contingencies greatly increases the likelihood the
> person will have the kind of death he or she would want. These are
> horrible things to think and talk about; no one likes to dwell on them.
> But deal w/ it now while you're still alive and mentally able to do so,
> and you spare your loved ones a lot of grief when the time comes if you
> are unlucky enough to fall into a protracted dying process, and you spare
> yourself needless pain and suffering that could result from not making
> your wishes clear enough. But good for your mom for being so clear-sighted
> to draw up a living will, and good for you for being ready to carry out
> her wishes and for being pragmatic enough to recognize what scenarios
> might be in store.
>
> NS
> (add sbc before global to email)
>

I would have liked to have seen my Mom leave this earth in that manner. She
did not. Her suffering was "historical" as she died a long slow torturous
death from colon cancer. I tell you this not as a subjective opinion but
even the hospice nurses had ever seen anyone suffer to die as she had. I
would have given anything to end her screaming & unbelievable pain. It is a
sight that I will never forget. She was a great woman and very kind. She did
not deserve to go this way. Morphine didn't help any...........very very bad
for her to get thru.........I could describe the details but I doubt anyone
would believe them.............She died in 1996 and I will never forget her
last days....just horrific. But I try to think of her as I remembered her
doing all the great things and helping people etc....

Kitty


.