Recovered... for a while now.

I've not been around much for the last 6 months.

I think the last time I posted was when the guy who beat me up decided he
was going to plead not guilty and claim self defense.

I didn't cope well with that on top of the pain I was in and something
broke. My wife rolled over in bed and elbowed me hard in the face
*exactly* in the middle of the bit that still hurts.

Next thing I knew at the time was that our porch was on fire. I got
everyone safe and tried to tackle some of the fire but it was too much for
me so I dived through to rescue my workstation from the garage.

At 4am on February 7th/6th after the fire was out and investigations were
under way I was arrested for arson. I found this laughable and expected to
be released pretty quickly.

I opted not to have a landshark around for questioning and after 4 hours I
had a sudden recall of *watching* me go downstairs and light the fire. All
of the months piled in about then and I was charged while going through a
full blown breakdown. Add in to that that I suffer from claustrophobia and
I was a basket case. If I'd asked for a landshark then I'd have been
protected from answering a lot of hypothetical questions that I answered.

On the Monday I found myself in a cell beneath the court with a nicely
dressed Asian young lad. He wanted me to explain what was happening to
him. He pulled out his charge sheet for me to read and explain using a bit
of Makaton signing and some BSL. He didn't have much English. I postponed
imy full breakdown to ensure he didn't show his charge sheet to anyone
else. He was charged with the rape of 2 young girls over the weekend.

I got up into the court in the late afternoon since I had to be assessed
by a psychiatrist first. The court bailed me to live at my parents' house
in Sunderland and refused me permission to talk with my wife.

In 3 weeks I was due to appear in the next court up (crown court). For
those 3 weeks I hung together just talking to my daughter. I suffered a
full breakdown that had me crouched in a corner for 3 days though.

I registered with my mother's doctor and was promptly assessed by the
Community Psychiatric Team as needing urgent attention. After 11 weeks
they sent me a letter asking if I still needed treatment. In the meantime
the GP had noted that the weight was sloughing away and sh[ani ifted me to
Citalopram to try to calm my constant state of panic.

I also had to go and be assessed by the probation service during my stay
in Sunderland. A lovely lady called Heather James introduced herself.
Heather told me that her bit could be done in 45 minutes. It actually took
over 5 hours. Her conclusion is that prison would be a *bad* thing.

At the end of April my wife went into labour. We bent the rules a touch
for a few days. I had a request in to move to a friend's house and the
Crown had said OK so I went in 48hours early.

Tomorrow... more

Warwick
.

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