Re: So how do I explain _this_?
- From: "Mike Andrews" <mikea@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 6 Jan 2006 23:45:59 +0000 (UTC)
Jeremy Worrells <worrells@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> On 2006-01-06, Mike Andrews <mikea@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>> The Boy just got off the phone with his mom; she called me to tell me
>> about the conversation, which was a deeply-disturbing one.
>>
>> He called her to say that he'd got a package in the mail from Mitchell,
>> whom he'd known since he was 2: 14 years. he and Mitchell were very, very
>> close indeed: soccer, other sports, in the same classrooms and so on until
>> The Boy moved out here in 1999. They kept in touch by mail since then, but
>> The Boy hadn't seen much from Mitchell in about a year.
>>
>> Turns out the package is really from Mitchell's parents and grandparents:
>> a box of mementos for him because he was so close to Mitchell. Mitchell
>> died in his sleep at age 14, 23 Dec. 2004.
>>
>> I think I need to tell The Boy that it's OK to cry. He's gonna need to.
>>
> Wow. Having lost 3 friends while approximately that age, I sympathize
> with him (and you). Losing childhood friends sucks. When you are a
> teenager, you are invincible. Nothing can touch you. To have mortality
> hit you like that is a real world shaker.
> Yes, crying helped. Yes, going to memorial services helped. It still
> hurts to think of them. All three died violently, not in their sleep. I
> don't know which is better, if either one is.
> Definitely tell him it's OK to cry. I'm a bit misty myself, just
> thinking about the friends I lost.
> Also, if you can, help him understand what happened to Mitchell. A
> reasonable person will appreciate knowing what happened beyond, "He died
> in his sleep."
> My condolances to all.
He called and got some more info. Mitchell had had a serious allergy attack
at a friend's house. The friend (or friend's parent, or ?) gave him two
pills which they all thought were antihistamines. They weren't.
When he got home, Mitchell went to sleep and never woke up.
So: drug OD, yes, but not _illicit_ drugs. More like the bog-standard
cascade of errors.
The Boy is numb. We've both told him that hugs are available, and that it
is OK to cry.
I lost 3 in my class in high school: 2 in an airplane crash, one of them
PIC, and another thrown from a horse. Damn hard to take. I'm still not all
the way over them, 42 years later.
--
The issue needs to be about doing the right thing, not about having
the contractual right to do a questionable thing.
-- A. Murphy, in nanae
.
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