lost it emotionally

it was one of those days.

I failed my marketing exam and got so emotional over it that I lost it
and ended up smoking. I have no clue how I got it, neither do I know
what it taste like or if I even finished smoking it. I was just so in
tears. By the time I reached out for help it was to late.

Well I did reach out for help and prevented that things got worse and
I didn't continoue smoking either. I feel bad enough about it. I will
not reset my meter as this just would be asking for trouble and go
back to smoking. I am sure I will not forget today. what I feel and
felt I better leave unsaid.

so now you can all turn your back and say I knew she is not going to
make it. it doesn't matter anymore I am a failure anyway and couldn't
have been more stupid than I was.

Did I learn anything from today? I surely did! I need to get help
before things go wrong or find a quiet place and just cry it all out.
After all I am Borderline and Bipolar and do have to rely sometimes on
other when my mind isn't working.

PolarBear
.

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