I remember when smoking seemed important

I was sitting at a light today (you know the one up there by the BP
station and the car lot) and I saw the woman in the car behind me
puffing away on her cigarette. I remember when smoking seemed like a
very important thing. I "needed" it. Had to have it about every 15
minutes. Had to keep plenty at hand. Really preferred it be my brand.
"Maybe I will go but can I smoke? Does he smoke? Does the motel have
smoking rooms? Be right back, I have to go outside and smoke. Better
take my car, I can't smoke in hers. " It was just always *there*.
Always had to be worked around. Dealt with. It dictated a lot of
things. I thought it was worth it. It was the boss. It convinced me of
that anyway.

It's kind of like leaving an abusive relationship. You are scared of
what will happen. Not sure you can do it. Maybe better just to stay.
But you do and you re-create yourself and eventually can't believe you
were ever that person.

Then the light changed and I turned and went on down the road.
Smokelessly,

Annette
Two years, eleven months, three weeks, 5 hours, 13 minutes and 40
seconds.


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