Re: Animal Sacrifice

Bahaha
--
:) Lynn OOF+ Leaper
support www.quitbuddies.org



"Jef." <jef@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:hfemb6$c3c$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
With the Winter Solstice soon upon us, I just wanted to share some handy
tips for animal sacrifice (*) at home:

When you sacrifice a goat to Great Cthulu, be sure to roll up your rugs
*and* the padding underneath. Bloodstains are hard to remove.

It is advisable to brush the goat outside, to rid it of fleas or ticks
that might otherwise get into your carpeting or upholstery.

If you have hardwood floors, be sure to put down some plastic sheeting,
first. (An old shower curtain works great!) You may wish to put some sort
of booties on the goat to keep it from scratching the floor.

If you have guests in for the ceremony, avoid the faux pas of serving
roast goat. Many people are squeamish. Chips and dip are always safe
choices. Keep a supply of cheap rain ponchos on hand, for the spatter.

Remember: Cut the throat first, *then* do the disemboweling. This prevents
you from having to push the entrails aside to find the jugular.

If you don't have a proper gibbet, you can always hang the goat from a
coat tree or a laundry rack to drain.

Be sure to move furniture out of the way, or at least bind the goat's hind
legs. Many a good coffee table has been kicked apart due to this simple
lack of preparation.

Generally speaking, it is advisable to remove children from the room. A
flawed view of proper animal interaction (usually when coupled with
bedwetting and setting fires) often leads to serial killing later in life.

Hope these help.
See you at the punch bowl!

(*) Your beliefs may vary.




.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: OT: Animal Sacrifice
    ... When you sacrifice a goat to Great Cthulu, be sure to roll up your rugs ... If you have hardwood floors, be sure to put down some plastic sheeting, ... Cut the throat first, ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • OT: Animal Sacrifice
    ... When you sacrifice a goat to Great Cthulu, be sure to roll up your rugs ... If you have hardwood floors, be sure to put down some plastic sheeting, ... Cut the throat first, ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: OT: Animal Sacrifice
    ... It is advisable to brush the goat outside, to rid it of fleas or ticks that might otherwise get into your carpeting or upholstery. ... Cut the throat first, ... A flawed view of proper animal interaction often leads to serial killing later in life. ... Thanks so much, Jef. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)