OT: New update (long again - so sorry)

I have read everyones responses but am so tired tonight that I can't give a proper response (even if I try to.) Thanks to all of you and I have each of you in my heart and am thanking you as I type. I simply can't concentrate on a personal response because I am still suffering something that I can't touch that I am trying hard to fix in my mind and heart.

It is too late now to do anything legal - they already took what they wanted to take. I made a list today and requested that they return all these items.

These people have $$$'s and used to have lots of it, so I am not understanding this entire greedy ordeal. My brother did remind me that when our maternal grandparents passed away that we did not get our cut of the family stuff. Everybody else did. Did our feet stink?

I'm trying not to dwell on bad feelings. Everything that has happened over the past three weeks has wore me down and I just need some time to begin the healing.

I can still see my moms face in my mind trying to suck down some h20 (like a baby bird) and she couldn't, and that memory kills me. And a replay (over and over again - even in my dreams) of my mom clear-minded after having come off life support, her mouth a little crooked saying "Beverly, I have been lying in this same position since 10 am." I also remember freaking out when she was moved out of ICU and she could not see out the window. How I ran to the nurses station and lost it. How I really created a ruckus on the internet about it - that situation since that time, but the fact still stands that I did have a total meltdown like I have not had since the first month when I quit smoking.

The good news for today - are you all ready???

I took my moms rocking chair home. I rocked. It felt damn good.

I took bags and suitcases of picture albums. Though my aunt took her growing up album - my mom must have pulled a hell of lot of pics from that album and distributed them throughout many albums. I was shocked to find so many pictures of her youth. Of course I do not have the little girl ones - but I do have the pictures of her from age 11 onward.

I want you all to know that I have learned a lot over time. How to have patience and how to communicate. I do read here as often as I can. used to give support - I just have very little strength to do that right now. I want to. Please don't get me wrong - I really do want to offer support here. I feel guilty for grabbing up NG time when it should mainly go to people who are quitting. I am sorry. Thank you for listening and I hope I can help soon.

x000x
--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF
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Relevant Pages

  • Re: OT: New update (long again - so sorry)
    ... I took my moms rocking chair home. ... I took bags and suitcases of picture albums. ... little girl ones - but I do have the pictures of her from age 11 onward. ... used to give support - I just have very little strength to do that right ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: OT: New update (long again - so sorry)
    ... I can still see my moms face in my mind trying to suck down some h20 and she couldn't, ... And a replay of my mom clear-minded after having come off life support, her mouth a little crooked saying "Beverly, I have been lying in this same position since 10 am." I also remember freaking out when she was moved out of ICU and she could not see out the window. ... Though my aunt took her growing up album - my mom must have pulled a hell of lot of pics from that album and distributed them throughout many albums. ... Of course I do not have the little girl ones - but I do have the pictures of her from age 11 onward. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: New update (long again - so sorry)
    ... We will celebrate the good things - the rocking chair, the pictures and the memories. ... I can still see my moms face in my mind trying to suck down some h20 and she couldn't, ... And a replay of my mom clear-minded after having come off life support, her mouth a little crooked saying "Beverly, I have been lying in this same position since 10 am." I also remember freaking out when she was moved out of ICU and she could not see out the window. ... Though my aunt took her growing up album - my mom must have pulled a hell of lot of pics from that album and distributed them throughout many albums. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: OT: New update (long again - so sorry)
    ... I do understand how stressful this is and that maybe you just want to let it all be and get some peace back in your life. ... I can still see my moms face in my mind trying to suck down some h20 and she couldn't, ... Though my aunt took her growing up album - my mom must have pulled a hell of lot of pics from that album and distributed them throughout many albums. ... Of course I do not have the little girl ones - but I do have the pictures of her from age 11 onward. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: Why interlaced HDTV?
    ... >> Whilst gamma was originally intended to compensate for the response ... >> characteristics of a typical CRT, by one of those amazing coincidences ... >> perceptual response of the human eye - the eye is close to the inverse ... give an initial impression of sharp contrasty pictures. ...
    (uk.tech.digital-tv)
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