- From: sum1@xxxxxxxxxx (Ian)
- Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:43:03 +0000 (GMT)
i just thought i would drop in and say hi. I'm still off the wagon, and for
some horrid reason all my tricks from past quites are not working this time.
I know the drill i've been around here way to long, Just say NO!!!!!!!!!!
The more i say NO the louder the little voice in my head tells me to F Off.
The last 2 quits i had 6years and 4 years, i had to quit because i couldn't
breathe. Well this time i can, i guess that's the ...difference in this quit.
It was a ghastly inability to get enough oxygen into my bloodstream on
April 1st that finally convinced me it was getting serious, it was time
to just stop inhaling poisonous smoke at frequent intervals every day.
My doctor thought it was serious enough to warrant having a supplier come
here with an oxygen tank and a lengthy plastic tube which I was to have
attached to my nose 24 hours a day.
Fortunately my breathing did return to something like normal so I could
send it back unused.
I forbade the few people I know here to obey any request from me to get
me cigarettes, disposed of the ones in the kitchen cupboard, threw out
all the ashtrays, and set off on the uphill climb out of addiction.
My personal trick was to demonized the addiction, creating in my mind a
huge powerful fiend well over seven foot tall, who had held me powerless
for almost fifty years, made me spend a small fortune, and come close
to ruining my lungs.
Whenever I desperately needed a fix, I visualized me fighting back
against this monster. Which was a hell of a shock for him!
And I reported in here, as the days went by, and became weeks, on how
the creature was beginning to dwindle, to grow weaker, was eventually
so diminished that I could kick him contemptuously clear across the room
whenever he crept timidly up to try to grab me unawares !
Well, he very occasionally returns briefly to tempt me and make me feel
I could really use a smoke, but he's only going through the motions, he
is beat and he knows it!
Hee's about three inches tall now, and looking very depressed....
I was generously supported and encouraged in my struggle by those in
here who by example showed me it was not impossible, they'd been free of
the addiction for months and years, and I wanted to join their ranks
(though I doubted that I could).
I am not going to throw away those 8 months plus, for the dubious
pleasure of putting a paper tube filled with dried weed in my gob and
setting fire to one end.
Which is about as stupid a thing to do as can be imagined. And I once
thought it was terribly terribly sophisticated and smart..... incredible.
I now no longer have that awful smoker's cough, can
breathe better, they tell me my chest sounds and looks fine on x-rays,
and I can now taste food again!
Go back to smoking? Not me!
8 months and a bit.....
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