Re: What is worse paxil or Tobacco?

Oh no, oh no, Steve, it breaks my heart to know you have been suffering. I
wish you had reached out before -- we're here for you. I had no idea that
you had been through this.

Folks, I have had the privilege of being a guest in Steve and Sarah's home,
and you cannot imagine what fine people they are; what a fine family.

What can I say, Steve? How can I help you and/or Sarah? You are such a
great guy.

Of course, you take the Paxil and you don't smoke. For sure. No question.

The best thought I can offer by way of trying to help is to remind you that
a lot of us quit when we can't get away with it any more, and that quitting
is often just one part of a larger constellation of life issues. And we
*do* put a lot of our emotional issues on hold while we cope with the issue
of quitting. It's not the*quitting* that makes us "somebody else" in such
cases; it's the difficult process of learning how to manage our emotions and
our lives without an addiction. First, we postpone all issues for months or
*easily* two years -- a lot of us have to do this to quit. Then, we have to
learn some skills to pick up those emotional issues again -- AFGE's ensue.
(Another Fucking Growth Experience.)

And going back to the addiction won't help. As one quitter here said it a
while back, you've got "too much truth" in your head now to delude yourself
that you can stuff all the bad *** in your head into a roll of white paper
and burn it. It won't work any more. You can't go back. But please,
please try to have a little faith that you *can* go forward. I know you
can. I know it for a fact. I know you. I don't know you *well*, but I
know you, and I know a lot about quitting smoking. And I know you can get
through this.

Please post as much as you possibly can. Please bask in the love, here!
:-) Post anything and everything you feel like posting. Talk to you soon,
okay?

ep ooooooooof



"Steve And Sarah" <sandskrieger@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:iPqdnU5Sf4YH90nVnZ2dnUVZ_umdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am such a miserable son of a bitch lately. I was prescribed Paxil
after my emotional breakdown and up until then I was doing pretty damn
good. I loved my life, my house, my family, everything was good. Now post
breakdown 5 months later I feel out of control most of the time. I quit
taking the Paxil when I was done being a weak little boy (Breakdown
recovery) I didn't like being on the pill so to speak. Now it's later I
got a good job with Ford but I am so full of rage all the time I don't
like me. Sarah has been pretty good but I almost succeeded in driving her
away. I am out of control and spiraling down into the abyss.

If someone were to look back when I was trying to quit I said that I
don't think I like the person I am becoming now that I am a non-smoker.
Well it's been almost two years and I don't know who I am anymore. I was
riding pretty high for the first year and a half now not so high at all.
I know who I used to be.... a fun, funny, loving, fair dad to my son now I
am only that way when I put on an act .....it's like a play. When the
curtain falls I see red most of the time.

So I titled the post Paxil or smokes right......well I am here in the
stop smoking forum and I belong here. I am still trying to quit all the
effects of smoking and I feel like I am failing. I have not been centered
enough to have a good heart to heart with my wife. I used to be able to
tell her anything and I did tell her everything. Now I don't have to
speak she can see it in my face.... my eyes tell her that I love her but
the rest of me feels like she deserves better. I am crying as I write
this because thinking it makes me feel like a terrible person. Sorry....I
am trying.

Well Paxil or tobacco? I start Paxil tomorrow as soon as I fill the
prescription. My only fear is that after I take Paxil what if I am still
the same person...... what next?

This is the place I belong and typing these words makes me feel like
maybe I will find the strength here. I love alot of people here and I
felt loved as well when I was here. Maybe it's worth noting that when I
had my spirit broken I also neglected coming to AS3. I made it through
one of the most difficult battles in my life here. Now I am here as
often as I can be. I only hope that I can find myself here and that I
find myself worth the effort in saving.

Used to be Steve
(now I am a stranger)

No response necessary I only needed to get it out I am not even reading
it again before I press send.



.

Loading