Re: I guess you are never really safe... (long)

Oyster,
you got some good advice, that you, yourself used to give here...remember?
You still do. You said you have friends coming over next week end and you
want to stop smoking before they get there! So, what is stopping you?
Because it is hard to quit? That's one of the reasons I don't even consider
taking a puff.
Sorry, Oyster, don't need to be mean, but just be honest with yourself.
Quit for your own self. Not for your friends.

You have our full support. Good luck, and please post often and keep us
abreast (love this word) of things.

AZ--
I have been quit for 1 Year, 1 Week, 4 Days, 8 hours and 12 minutes (377
days). But I don't know what happened to the $3,301.73 I saved by not
smoking 18,867 cigarettes. I have recovered 2 Months, 4 Days, 12 hours and
15 minutes of my life.--


"Oyster" <alexandertoth@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?

I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
people in this group were.

I screwed it up. Let me explain.

I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to start a new job
and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It was pretty
easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings disappeared and I
didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought that I would
live happily ever after.

A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
here. I came here for six months for work. It's been (and still is -
about two months left to go) a great experience. I quickly made a lot
of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking is allowed
more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. So one
night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
every day.

I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. I have
been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. I
feel like such an utter, utter idiot.

Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. That
may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
it's getting more. I know from experience that it will eventually go
back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
cigarettes a day, more when I go out.

Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. I know
about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to smoke again. I
really, really don't.

OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
"total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. It's
as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
started again but stopped again after about a month. What was it
like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?

Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
most people don't smoke any more.

I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be in a
particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about stopping for a
long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
they are around.

Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
really want to succeed.

Best wishes,

Oyster


.

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