Re: Need a good excuse

LOL!! I'm a slacker at heart Pam. :)

--

Lots of love
Summer (007) ~OF QOF~
Window licker since 1978
_______________________________________________________________________

e-Mail: summer DOT cashmore AT ntlworld DOT com
Website: http://summcash.blogspot.com

"The box said 'Requires Windows 95, NT, or better', so I installed Linux."
_______________________________________________________________________


"Pam" <PFaust@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:0b9d776a-a911-4825-a98c-c9c6f68afbc5@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Apr 12, 3:06 pm, "SummerC"
<summer.cashm...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Ask and you shall receive....

I can't come to work today, i'm farting blood

Im Sorry I Wont Be In Work Today My House Set On Fire And Everything Got
Burnt

I cant come into work today because my leg is stuck in the drain outside
of
my house, and the rescue team haven't arrived yet to get it out.

I cant come to work because I lost the house keys, I'm locked in.

Dave can't come to work today because, I, his other personality has taken
over and I dont work.

It is against my religion to work on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I have amnesia, who r u? .........work?..............I work?

I'd love to come to work today, but I got on the wrong train and I'm now
in
Edinburgh.

I'm just about to reach enlightenment, so I cant possibly come to work
because it will disturb my practices.

I cant come to work because the aliens are coming tonight and I'm baking
cakes to give to them as peace offerings.

I'm not coming to work today..... "why not?" ....... because ..... I'm not

I cant come to work because they are after me!!............. "who?"
................ Ahhhhhhhh(hear shouting and bangs)
........."hello?...............??"

My friend can't come into work today because I knocked him out.

I saved so much money by switching to Geico I don't have to work today

I'm sorry but my eyes are just in bad shape right now. I just cant see
myself going into work today.

Sorry boss I cant go to work today because my car keys grew legs of their
own and ran off!

Sorry I cannot take the job, When I was but a youngster a wise man told me
that there are two days a year that if you work you will surely die. I was
so young that I forgot to ask what those two days were and now because of
fear I cannot work any day of the year.

I can't(grunt) come in to (grunt) work today, I HAVE (grunt) EXPLOSIVE
DIARREA!!!!!!

I'm not sure when I'll be in to work...I am in the shower and the shampoo
bottle says to, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat." I might be here for a loooong
time.

I can't come into work today, I have anal glacoma. What? I can't see my
***
coming into work!!!

I dont have my work clothes so I wouldnt be coming in today

I'll be late for work today becuase I was on my way to the car, and see it
was hot out so I decided I needed to take a break.

I can't go to work today, because I was painting my house and I drooped
paint on the floor and have to put in a new carpet

I'm sorry, i couldnt bring my work in on a floppy disk, i got pissed up
and
jammed the disk drive by seeing how many m & ms i could fit in

My arm is too tired to shift, so I can't drive to work today

I don't think i'll be able to come into work today, As i was walking home
from work yesterday a wheel came off a passing caravan and hit me in the
back. Im bed-bound and can't move.

I won't be able to come into work today because i have to visit my sister
in
hospital, she had an epileptic seizure as she was holding her baby, threw
the baby in front of her which i caught, she then jumped through one of my
stained glass windows and landed in my fish pond killing the koi carp.
Sorry.

Dear (Who Ever) Im Sorry I Cant Come Work Today As I Fell In My Pond And I
Drowned

"I just called to say I couldn't make it to work today. My computer has a
virus and I have been up all night cleaning up after and tending to it."

I'll be out today because I got stuck in traffic on the Parkway and I was
overcome by the fumes and had to go home

I can't come to work today because I have an eye problem, I can't see
coming
to work today

Sorry I wasn't in yesterday my legs were on strike

I cant come to work tomorrow its messing up my social life

I can't come into work today, I'm dead.

I cannot come into work today because I came down with a bad case of
something or other.

I'll be in late today because my cat is sick again. (This is the same
person
from excuse # 123)

I'll be in late this morning. I have a possum in my backyard and it's
freaking out my dog. I have to get it out before I can leave.

Sorry, won't be in for 3 days. Went to see my sister off on her cruise to
Bahamas...darn ship left with me still on it.. Captain refuses to turn
back.

A girl that I used to work with said she couldn't get come to work because
she'd been abducted over the weekend and needed to recover.

I can't come in today because I feel sick and I can't breath because of
all
the smoke in the air.

I'm going to need to take a couple of day off Thursday and Friday, because
the city said I have to clean up my back yard before Monday or I'm going
to
get a big fine!

I can't come in today....I found a stray cat by my home this week-end and
it
has really bad diarrhea and I have to take it to the vets.

I won't be in to work today. My wife said she is going to conceive today,
and I want to be there when it happens.

A girl I worked with called in with: "I wont be in today because my dog
has
a headache, and I need to take it to the vet.."

My assistant called in with this one. "I cant come to work today because
my
cat is lonely and stressed out and if I don't spend quality time with him,
he will keep peeing on the furniture!"

I'll be in a little late today. During the night the power must have gone
off because when I woke up my alarm clock time was flashing. And of course
I
over slept.

I can't come into work today. There is a cat sitting on the fence outside
more door and he won't let me out. It looks like he will attack me if I go
outside!

Please excuse Henry for being late. He was stuck in the bathroom without
any
toilet paper.

This excuse has been used by myself several times. I'll be out today or
late, I woke up dizzy (I suffer from vertigo).

Work....I didn't want to be late for work again today so I called in sick
instead!

I'll be in later today. I accidentally through away my jewelry, that was
in
a zip lock bag, away in the dumpster after I got back from vacation. I
have
to try and find it.

I left the windows open in my room all night and when I woke up I had a
stiff neck. I can't coming in today.

The pharmacy is making up some cream for me today - so I won't be in to
work.

I can't come into work today, because the hot water tap broke on the
bathtub.

I can't make it to work today, because the fan belt broke on the van, the
brakes went out, and it has a flat tire.

On my way to work today, my tooth cracked. I'll be going to the dentist.

I won't be into work today because my plane that was going to leave on
Sunday didn't leave until today.

My co-worker once called in this excuse to me and asked me to tell our
supervisor. " I have ants." It was later explained that she had ants in
her
basement apartment and had to call an exterminator in.

I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my watch!!!

I can't come in to work today, my sister tripped over the dog, fell off
the
porch and broke her wrist. I have to take her to the hospital.

I am unable to come to work today. I tried lifting our baby daughter out
of
her crib and twisted my back.

An employee phoned in at 9:00 am with the following. "My sister stole my
money and I am out looking for her."

I can not come to work today because I do not have any shoes.!!!

I lost my car keys skiing and I can't leave until I find them!

I won't be in today. I was up all week-end with this new girl I met and I
didn't get any sleep....if you know what I mean!

Last night a friend I haven't seen in a long time came over and gave me a
bear hug and broke one of my ribs, so I won't be in today.

I am sick with the Lack. Lack of ambition.

I won't be able to make it to work today due to my Aunt flying in from
______________, you see, she has one arm and two pieces of luggage and
really needs me to be there for her.

I'm calling in sick - of working for your company...!

I won't be in today because I can't find my clothes.

I actually used this. It did happen. I was late yesterday because my cat
was
alarmed at my sleep-talking and jumped off the bed, knocked my alarm off
the
dresser, of which the batteries fell out; And I over slept.

A friend I hadn't seen for years came round just as I was setting off for
work, I couldn't leave could I?

Someone dumped a truck-load of sand in front of my driveway and I won't be
in today.

I will not be into work today because my parents dog died.

I won't be able to come to work next week . Were trying for a baby and the
doc says next week is the best chance.

This one was actually used by one of my employees. "Sorry I did not show
up
yesterday, I locked myself in the bathroom."

I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house
for a LONNNNNNNG time. A *long* time.

I slipped in the shower and torque my knee. I can't walk on it at all.

I sprained my wrist cooking dinner in the microwave last nite.

Someone smashed in my windows this morning with a large blunt object.

My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.

There has been an urgent family emergency, which I can't talk about lest I
endanger any innocent bystanders. (This one could be good for a few days).

Well, you see, my boyfriend's friend's cousin, her mother is a total flake
and her three kids are getting taken away by CPS and she is going to jail,
and my boyfriend is working, his cousin is out of town and so you can see
that I have to stay home and watch them.

Sorry Boss I can't come into work today...my spirit guide says work is for
losers!

My coworker Wilma Martinez called in and said " The snowplow was stuck in
front of her driveway ". It took three days before they could get back to
tow it away. Chicago January blizzards. She brought in pictures the next
week.

Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get
the car out cause the door won't open.

I am sorry but I will be unable to come in to work today. My agoraphobia
(fear of leaving the house) is kicking in and I am afraid to drive today.

I'm not coming to work to day because my computer has ...

read more »

SummerC - Damn! You must have been working on this your entire adult
life! Impressive!
Hugs,
Pam


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