Re: Observation of a ex smoker
- From: eightpans <chrisconroSPAMMENOT@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 26 Sep 2007 09:53:42 +0100
Yesterday my friend came to visit. A smoker for as long as I know him.I still go outside with the 3 lads thats smoke on my shift. Now I have turned a corner in my quit if I get a whiff of smoke it does not bother me, I would not like being in a closed room with a smoker though.
A doctor. Many doctors smoke and I think it's wrong to be surprised
really. They have their right to be only human too. But I digress
He sat there for an hour or so and smoked 5 sickarettes. I counted
them afterwards, when I went to clean the ashtray. When I was a smoker, I was always being very irritated how some people
reacted to smoking, with their stupid frowning, opening windows etc.
Guess that makes me a very rude (ex) smoker but I really could not
understand what was so bad about a little smoke.
Wel yesterday I caught myself: sitting right next to the balcony door,
opening it a little so I can *breathe*, feel my sinuses start acting
up as soon as a smoke cloud passed my head on it's way out, just
generally staying well away from the smoke and hating the smell and
everything about it. I was probably frowning and openly showing my
discomfort, doing just the thing I hated in other people all the years
Absolutely no desire to smoke, on the contrary, I felt like someone
who never smoked and is detesting smokers as something annoying.
Wife came home soon after he left and we both bragged on how awful
everything smells and just kept bitching and feeling SO BLOODY GOOD we
do not smoke anymore. And nevermore!
The funny things is, after this most unpleasant encounter with a
victim of the nicodemon (nicofart really, demon my ass!) what did I
dream about last night? Smoking of course!
There was a gathering of some 15-20 people in some hallway. I knew
most of the people and saw a pack of sickarettes laying on a desk,
picked it up and lit up. Then my wife came into the scene and I
noticed the sickarette smoking in my hand, smoked half-way through
already! I has the feeling I was not even aware what I am doing! In
shock and disgust I threw it away. Throw in the usual feeling of
guilt, and once you wake up, huge relief, and you have a standard
God, I love being a non-smoker. Thank you!
On reading some of the posts recently. When kitty kat mentioned that she would have to go out and suck down 2,3,4, sickerettes when some stressful situation presented itself. It brought back memories of how I was as a smoker, and how I had to retrain myself to cope with everyday shit with out smoking. In one of Echo's reposts it mentions
It's a scary transition for anyone to undergo mentally. Years upon years of
memories are associated with smoking. A mountain of stressful situations
that we dulled (and in doing so, partially avoided dealing with) by
administering nicotine. The belief that we NEED that drug to get through
these situations in the future.
For me the success of my quit was down to the fact that I broke the hold (and I still cross my fingers) psycologically that the nicofart (nice one :)) had over me.
The other month I had a smoking dream, about the first one I have had I think. I like you was filled with dread on waking up but the huge sense of relief broke like a wave over me as I realised it was only a dream. We can use this wave of relief.. The dream itself fades very quickly but I can still feel the sense of relief when I think back...old habits die hard.. but die they do.
Onwards and upwards
I don't smoke anymore
- Observation of a ex smoker
- From: Tihomir
- Observation of a ex smoker
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