Re: Day 10 patch - Unevolving
- From: "DutchVanAfoort" <zniborz@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 18 Aug 2007 22:58:13 +0200
Did I already tell you I love these posts? Thanks for taking the
time and energy to share your quit with us like this. Stay strong,
Robin.
--
Batman: "That's life, Robin, full of ups and downs. It ill befits any of us
to become to confident."
-
"Pike" <> schreef in bericht ...
A lump underneath furs stirs, a leaden weighed hand finds the snooze
button to smack the annoying insect like buzzing, a second lump moves
disturbing the first lump.
The one lump is annoyed but moves out of the warm comfort to stand
under hot water, scrubbing, scrubbing, sneezing, then scrubbing some
more. The now clean lump hears the other lump and recognizes it as his
mate. Putting coverings over skin, grabbing the hot water that has
been filtered through crushed beans, he remembers to grab what was not
eaten from last nights feast so he may eat at mid-day.
The caveman, known as Pike, leaves his cave.
Yes, I am very tired, can't stop yawning. It's as if gravitonium has
been fused to every atom of my body. Every movement seems to be
hampered, and the energy levels that I enjoyed prior to today are gone
like a harsh ex-lover. (Or money out of my bank account.) I could
easily make Rip Van Winkle look like he just took a casual nap.
I can see how the despair sets in at this point, the body is sluggish
affecting mood and responses. Any kind of anxiety only seems to
increase the sluggies and lessen energy levels. I was hoping that my
increased energy levels were going to keep this way through my entire
recovery... either that or I hit the wall and my body has already
adjusted to the lower levels of nicotine from the patch. I have doubts
about switching to the next step down, possibly not until I've been
totally addicted to the patch, which is better than smoking anyday.
The aromatherapy oil has definitely helps a lot. I forgot the other
night to take the lid off of it, lungs felt a bit sore all morning
yesterday. That lid will come off every night, even though I've gotten
used to the smell already.
Did some research on that as well. Apparently even people that have
had too much damage to their nasal passages, who cannot smell at all,
receive the same benefit from the aromatherapy... chalk it up to trace
elements in the air that they are breathing at the cellular level I
guess. Or their bodies remember the response in the same environment
of the smell, even though the nerves are no longer working in their
noses.
Oh yeah, and the new ways to distract myself include the following.
Audio books and walking, must get more from the library and see if I
can get any of the Big Finish productions with Doctor Who. Or Douglas
Adams, that would be good.
Building a wish list for things that I will buy with the extra money,
once it actually shows up in my bank account. I'll have to include my
own recovery amount into the signature, cause the amount I've 'saved'
is not true, as that money went towards patches...
Playing around with entrainment software, think of it as biofeedback
for your brain. Nice stuff, still haven't found a program that is free
for me to export to mp3.
And if you can't tell, I can't stick to one subject for too long, the
brain fog has got me. I have fears that I will get OCD from doing
things to distract myself from the cravings. I also fear that the
recovery process will never end, and that would confirm my own fear
and suspicions that I am an addict.
Or perhaps I had OCD on cigarettes psychologically wise... Too deep a
thought for sluggish body and brain.
Tonight I am off to Folkfest, eating foreign food, watching dancing,
hopefully finding a kilt from the clan I was decended from, and
genuinely enjoying the evening. This weekend, I hope to watch 'What
the Bleep!' again, to stimulate those lazy neurons in my brain.
Ugh, caveman still here,
Pike
(Insert stick figure standing above mammoth painted in squished
berries on cave wall here)
.
- References:
- Day 10 patch - Unevolving
- From: Pike
- Day 10 patch - Unevolving
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