Re: Smoking and Pregnant and Forgiveness

"Lizzie" <morningarden@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:sLidndeBHNm5kMPbnZ2dnUVZ_segnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Some of you may remember from a couple of weeks ago my post about my
friend being 44, pregnant, and a smoker. She did not successfully
quit............and she miscarried yesterday. She's devastated. And
feeling very, very guilty for not quitting. It wasn't the reason she lost
the baby, but she believes that it contributed.

She'll bear that guilt for a long time whether it's deserved or not.
Maybe forever, in one form or another. She has a loving spouse and good
family and friends to support her. Still, forgiving oneself is never an
easy thing to do.

In the sadness I feel for her, I am learning something about myself.

I am realizing that I haven't fully forgiven myself for what I've done to
myself and to the world by smoking. I think that this non-forgiveness
toward myself may be heightening my growing and strong judgmental feelings
toward people that haven't quit. Not a good thing to do. I can hate
smoking, but not the smoker. Sometimes, though, they get to be one and
the same. It's not fair and it's not kind. I need a balance.

Has anyone else experienced similar feelings?

Yes, but I've never confronted them as honestly as you have in this post.

I am so sorry for your friend's loss. I can only begin to imagine how
painful this must be for her.

I suspect forgiving ourselves is a lifelong process, and is even harder than
forgiving others.

ep ooooooof



Liz
DOF+





.

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