Re: My quit - tomorrow (long)



Hail Great Oyster!

NO FEAR!
NO FEAR!
NO FEAR!

Failure is nothing to fear -- never trying is.

How many accomplishments and great discoveries would mankind have
missed if failure was feared?

Courage is not the absence of fear -- it is the acceptance of fear.

You will do fine. I have great confidence in you.

Part of junkie thinking is believing you can not live without the
addictive substance. This junkie living in your Mind is a lying. You
have nothing to fear.

I greatly look forward to your quit -- you will succeed.

You can do this -- we can help.

Cheers!

-- Marvie

Oyster wrote:
Hi everyone,

I posted here about two weeks ago. I had an upcoming wisdom tooth
removal and was going to stop then, but the operation never took place
- so as so often, I delayed stopping. In a way, this was quite good
because I used the opportunity to read up on a lot of smoking-related
stuff. Anyway, I am ready and prepared, and I am quitting tomorrow (or
rather, tonight).

I've been wondering why I put off quitting for such a long time. At
first I thought it was that I was afraid of life without smoking, but
then I realised that I was actually scared - as weird as this may sound
- of failing. I didn't want to quit because I was afraid I wouldn't be
able to. I'm not sure why this fear has affected me so much, but it
may have something to do with my failed quit from earlier this year (I
stopped for two months, then slid back into it).

Anyway, I've tried to analyse my situation a little bit, and here are
some thoughts (I hope this won't bore anyone):

Although I have quit three times, I never failed in the initial period
(which I define as the first few weeks). Every time I managed to quit
for quite a long period of time (two months last time, eight months the
time before that, and an incredible seven years (!) the first time).
During these quits, I got to the point where I wasn't thinking about
smoking, wasn't pining after a cigarette and didn't envy smokers.

So why did I start again? After my seven-year quit, I think it was due
to two factors: I smoked pot at the time (not hugely but from time to
time) and I got some nicotine in my body from the joints. Plus, I was
going through a huge amount of stress (relationship, job, etc.). I
think that one of those factors on its own probably wouldn't have been
enough to push me back towards smoking, but the combination was fatal.

As corny as this may sound, I now think that my biggest problem is a
"lack of faith". I don't mean religious faith, but faith in my ability
to quit for good. I have seen myself relapse several times now, after
I had thought I'd already quit for good. I think this is why I have
been putting off quitting over the past two weeks - it's not that I
enjoy smoking very much (in fact, I often find myself putting out
cigarettes after smoking only about half). I'm just frightened of
failing again, of spending the rest of my life drifting in and out of
smoking until it kills me.

Anyway, the point of this message is only to announce my quit to the
group. I will probably post quite a lot over the next few days, and I
may well be irrational and ramble a lot. I would like to thank
everyone who has replied to my past posts, and I hope that I will be
able to give some support back. Good luck to everyone, and talk to you
soon!

Oyster

.



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