Re: Coming out the closet VV long
- From: "Cuckoo" <laughing@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2006 21:16:01 -0500
(((((April)))))
Sending prayers for you and your family.
"Things always happen for a reason." This line has gotten me thru so many
difficult times. Another good one I use..."Everything always works out."
Stay positive, do what you need to do.
I'm proud of you for not smoking....really proud.
xoxo,
Cat
"april & joanna" <bowmanzoo@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:aNGdnab_O-hP_DnZRVnyhw@xxxxxxxxx
Hi
I feel a need to write to you all, I think it might seem that I post a lot
about myself but don't do a lot of posting back, honestly i'm not being a
selfish cow and I really do read all posts and I am so proud of everybody
that has quit and managed to stay quit. I am also proud of the back
sliders but guys if you are reading this then you need to hop right back
on the wagon so you can be a healthy buzzing bee. There is a reason why I
dont post as often as I should and it is mainly mental exhausten, back in
1999 when I was 18 years old I gave birth to a lovely little boy but sadly
for one reason and another I suffered from surveve postnanal depression
and because I didnt have suppose I felt unable to cope and I had a social
worked involved at the time and she kind of decided that it was best for
my son to be adopted, it went down on record that I had very bad mental
health problem, I then stupidly fell pregnant again in 2001 and again
didnt cope and my 2nd lovely son was adopted, I then had a big gap in my
life and sorted some of my issues out which I should have done in the
beginning and then after a while I fell pregnant in April of last year, I
was very upfront with my health care providers and months went by and I
didnt hear nothing from social workers so I presumed all was well and they
would leave me to be a mum this time but 4 weeks before I was due to give
birth my midwife came out and said i'm really sorry I should have told
social services right at the beginning that you are pregnant but somehow
we didnt, a week later I had a phonecall from a socialworker who wanted to
meet with us, we met with him and he read through past papers, a decision
was made that because I didnt have an uptodate mental health and parenting
assessment that they wanted to place Joanna into foster so they could be
carried out. Well five months later my name has been just about been
cleared of being a bad mum, I had an upto date psyciatrist assessment that
said that I had suffered VERY bad postnatal depression with my boys and
had I been given the correct support then I would still have my boys today
and that I no longer appear to suffer postnatal depression or any other
depression he was very angry with how I had been treated and the boys
seperated from there mum who was ill and just needed some help. I cried
for days because it was a new hurt, I should never have lost my boys but I
couldnt do anything about that now because I had a daughter to fight for
and bring home, we have had excellent contact assessments done and we are
now just going through a intensive family programe to get bond and
attachement fully formed, ways for me to find coping stratergys ect and we
are hoping Joanna will be home in about 13 weeks time. This is mainly why
I dont post to everyone but I am glad that I have now got whats been
getting me down for the last few months of my chest, this was also the
reason I bust my last quit but I am SOOOOO proud that I have managed to
quit again under tremendos stress. We have been told that when Joanna is
firmly home we can then do somethign about the way I was treated with the
boys and get something in there file, we will unfortuanly never get their
adoption overturned because that is bristish law for you and to be honest
I dont think I could do that to them, they are so settled and are doing so
well but it would be nice to meet them or something. I hope this doesnt
change the way you all think about me!!!!
April
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