Re: I feel like crud (maybe some TMI depending on your sensitivy level) and ranting I suppose



Hi STG - the first thing I'd point out is that you forecasted that
yesterday was your 'worst' day of quits - from previous experience, so
it may have been living up to expectations.

I agree with the sleep deprivation theory/brain fog connection - and I
can't imagine doing this with a new baby (meaning, under the age of 5
:-)) AND running a day care!! If I had gold stars I'd be sending them
all to you!!

Warning: What might be considered an un-PC anti-NRT comment follows
here:
I quit CT - I really believe that the sooner we get the nicotine out of
us the EASIER it is on us (believe me, it isn't about being a hero, it
is because I really believe that the fluctuations in blood level of
that drug do funky things and INDUCE craves when the nicotine levels
dip.

From what you describe the lower dose patch would be worth trying, but,
if I may, the HARDEST part, will be deconstucting the junky thinking of
"I feel stoned but wanted to stay that way to be armed against future
assault of craving." The number one thing I learned is ... I have got
to LIVE through craving ... I can't drug it away ... I have to FEEL it
away, BREATHE it away etc. I had to learn - I don't WANT to feel
that stoned feeling, that that is a poisoned feeling. That I'd rather
feel like ME even if me is squirrely and snivelly and crave-y ... am I
making any sense? I spent 20 years drugging away my feelings, so it
makes perfect sense I'd want to drug away the pain of quitting, but I
found that that only protracted the pain. Facing it allowed me to
(most of the time) get beyond it ...

Great job!!! (And Verrrrrry DH it sounds like too!!)
Take care hon, Stephanie

StephanieTheGoofy wrote:
I am so spacey it is not even funny. The worst though was last night. I went
to bed early because I was really tired. I have only *very* rarely had
trouble getting to sleep. I read, I think on the package, that the patch can
give you freaky dreams. I have never had much of a problem having will power
in the am since we don't have any smokes in the house, and we live no where.
There are not even any stores open by the time I get my patch o' the day on.

So I take off my patch and crawl into bed. I have the weirdest thoughts.
Every worry that I could have and quite a few that were made up by my mind
out of whole cloth are scrambling around in my head for attention. Despite
that I start to dose. I get in a knife fight with my mother. If that doesn't
wake you up, nothing will. My skin starts to itch all over. I tend toward
dry skin, but not in the middle of summer when it has not stopped raining in
about 2 months. To make matters worse, I get a nice hemrhoidal flare up. No
cream on hand to take care of that. Finally DH comes to bed. I cuddle up on
him and am able to relax. Within a half hour, my darling daughter who has
been sleeping though the night forever, is crying. Luckily DH takes pity on
me and takes the first 2 interventions. But man, he couldn't sleep either.
So I get the next 3 interventions.

So enter this morning. I have my patch on. It's like the initial rush of the
patch is making me stoned. I read all the instructions, but it has been a
while. Maybe I need a lower does. But I am hesitant to take this one off
because I want to be armed for later in the day. I feel like a complete
zombie. My head is swimmy. I am drinking coffee to try to get some energy in
me. I am drinking water, after killing 2 big glasses in the night.

All I have to do is get through today. Ha, I was going to get up early and
do my exercise video. Maybe the kids and I can do it later in the day. They
like it. I am assuming that I will feel better later in the day.

ALl Ihave to do is do today. Let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.

Stepanie

Two days, 15 minutes and 12 seconds. 30 cigarettes not smoked, saving $7.84.
Life saved: 2 hours, 30 minutes.

.



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