forwarded email
- From: "April & Bump" <mumtobe2006REMOVESPAM@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2005 20:22:00 +0000 (UTC)
As Christmas approaches, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all
of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue
on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer use cling film in the microwave because it causes
cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by Parcel Force or FedEx
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore,
and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have
363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I
receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,691 people in the
next 7minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrohea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (GMT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's
second husband's cousin's beautician's neice.
.
- Follow-Ups:
- Re: forwarded email
- From: Kimberly
- Re: forwarded email
- Prev by Date: Re: MP3 sites...? What do you want? (LARGE FILE ALERT)
- Next by Date: Re: MP3 sites...? What do you want? (LARGE FILE ALERT)
- Previous by thread: Yes it will.
- Next by thread: Re: forwarded email
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
