Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005

Wow Maggie! You have been through the wringer... and made it smoke-free!
Good job! I'm sorry you have had so many health issues to deal with, and so
glad you came back and posted about them!!

I actually had my baby's sitter go through some of what you described, to
the point I didn't want her keeping my child and doubted the safety of the
other parents children. I ended up talking to her pastor and begging him to
go talk with her because I knew something was wrong. 2 days later she was
in the hospital for kidney failure. I never knew exactly what it was.

Thanks for being so transparent. It's hard to know what to say when real
serious things go on. I know it's easier to gloss over things and say
nothing... (((((((((((Maggie)))))))))))
With hope and heart,
Kathleen
--
Sometimes the Lord calms the storm,
and sometimes He lets the storm rage
and calms the child instead.



> My QuitBuddy, Robin (Dutch), led the way (as always) with his DOF speech
on
> Sept 2. Happy DOF to us, Robin, and our fellow Sexy Niner's (was that the
> name?) who will be following shortly.
>
> I'm just happy to have survived the year. Nothing to do with smoking or
> not smoking. My apologies to all who knew me a bit over a year ago, the
> last few months before I made OF and shortly after. My behavior was, at
> best, bizarre at times. It was even worse when I wasn't online.
> Occasionally I could sense all was not well but mostly I was oblivious. I
> eventually lost my mind enough that I repeatedly called 911 for the most
> bizarre reasons. I was in serious trouble but didn't know it.
>
> What was the matter? I was slowly dying and had been on a long downward
> slide for well over a year, before I even quit smoking. The problem? It
> had nothing to do with being bipolar.
>
> The true cause was never truly diagnosed but by the time I made it to the
> hospital emergency ward in mid-Oct, after being unconsciencous on the
> floor for at least 5+ days, I was in extreme acute kidney failure and had
> pancreatitis. It appears that the kidney failure was the underlying
> problem all along from the symptoms I remembered. Thank God my birthday
> was one of those days I was on the floor and several family members tried
> to call me, from 3000 miles away, to wish me a Happy Birthday. Only one,
> my oldest son, was still trying to reach me two days after that. He
> finally found the number of my apartment complex on the internet, called
> them, and the full complement of emergency personel were on their way. He
> saved my life.
>
> After being unconsciencous another 6 days in the hospital, I spent the
> next 6 weeks in the hospital recovering. The first 3 weeks I was actually
> in restraints because I was having so much trouble breathing, the lack of
> oxygen was confusing me and I kept trying to pull out all the tubes, etc.
> Perhaps I was still confused anyway. After the six weeks I was actually
> sent to a mental hospital for over two weeks to get back on my bipolar
> meds.
>
> That was humiliating, discouraging and I found that every single person
> there, staff included, smoked. I was feeble, confused, scared
> (occasionally physically attacked by an inmate) but I never bummed a
> cigarette. Oh, I thought about it - the comfort of an old friend in such a
> terrifying place - but for some reason I thought about all the people,
over
> all the years, who had suffered hourly, trying to quit smoking at AS3.
Some
> made it, some slipped, some left, some tried and tried again until they
> made it.
>
> I was an OF and had supposedly made it and I felt that I would be
> dishonouring all that effort, of so many people over so many years, if I
> smoked. I know, not rational, but I'm not claiming I was at the time. But
> thinking of all of you - and that is what I did somedays, try to think of
> as many names as I could - kept me from smoking even though the smell was
> everywhere and on everyone. Thank God it was a non-smoking facility.
>
> It's been a long year. Due to the trauma to my body, I lost 50% of my
> hair. It's mostly grown back. I don't know if it ever will fully. Happily,
> my underarm hair has completely stopped growing! lol My feet, ankles and
> legs swell terribly with fluid and I have to take 8 diuretics a day and
> sleep with my legs propped up but it is a small price to pay to be able to
> breath and think clearly - and live.
>
> The doctors say there is permanent kidney and brain damage (don't know how
> they can tell the last one) and I had to go back into the mental hospital
> for 3 weeks for a med adjustment in April as one of the new meds I was
> taking was causing violent shaking (escalated for over 3 months) until I
> couldn't even feed myself. I was screaming at the clinic doc to do
> something for more than 2 months. Ah, the joys of state medical care.
>
> Anyway, I am managing. I've actually played tennis a couple of times this
> summer (my ultimate goal), fell twice, but I cried with happiness at
> reclaiming a very important part of my "normal" life. Things are improving
> slowly but they may not improve much more. But that is sort of ok.
>
> I've now seen what a serious medical crisis feels like plus been an inmate
> in a locked down mental health facility twice. (That means you have no
> personal anything, and everything you own, like reading glasses, etc. are
> locked up at night.) The doors are locked at all times, the staff is
> armed. There are "quiet rooms". Patients often become violent. The old men
> are constantly taking off their diapers. Not a happy place to be. I don't
> recommend it to anyone so if you are supposed to be on mental health meds
> - take them because eventually, this is the alternative.
>
> And most important of all - I still don't smoke!
>
> A simple point. If I could quit with all of that going on - the declining
> health and mental instability - then maybe that thought will make it
> easier for some of you to quit and stay quit.
>
> These are not easy things to talk about but if it helps anyone to hold on
> one more day or one more hour without smoking, I am glad I posted it.
>
> My final points:
>
> - Don't smoke. You don't want to be in a hospital where you can't breathe.
> You never want a medical crisis or a near death experience. Smoking will
> get you these things much earlier than necessary.
>
> - Lack of oxygen, for whatever reason, causes mental confusion - or at
> least adds to it. You don't want a trip to the mental hospital. Take my
> word for it. Also - take all meds your doctor(s) say are absolutely
> necessary. They can always be adjusted by working with your doctor.
>
> - If you are trying to quit smoking, never, ever give up. You can
> successfully quit under the most difficult circumstances. There are no
> good excuses. You can make it. Just take it one day at a time, or even one
> hour at a time.
>
> - If you notice someone you care about is acting different than normal
> over a long period of time, suggest they see their doctor. Offer to take
> them. Repeatedly. It is hard to give up independence or ask for help. Know
> their doctor's name and phone number or an emergency contact.
>
> - If you know someone in ill health who lives alone, without help or
> visitors, call them once or twice every week for 5 or 10 minutes. If they
> are having a significant medical change, call their doctor or 911.
>
> - Volunteer to be an emergency contact.
>
> Like quitting smoking, we're all in this together.
>
> The only post I made during the past year (I think) was a Christmas thank
> you to Paula and Maddie - both of whom helped me get through some of the
> tough times. They may have missed my post. They gave me encouragement when
> I sorely needed it and Paula, the darling, was the first to tell me about
> "milestone" cravings. That info saved my quit many times - almost every
> milestone including OF. Thanks and hugs to both of you.
>
> I fired up the quit meter a bit ago. It looks great. I'm proud of it. It
> was hard work but I earned it. But no reason the rest of you can't have
> one just like it someday. Just hang tough over the rough spots. The craves
> seem like they won't let go, but, in reality and hindsight, they are more
> than doable and don't really last that long if you just let go of them and
> change your focus.
>
> 2 years, 5 hours, 26 minutes.
> 24130 cigarettes not smoked, saving $6,382.51.
> Time saved: 11 weeks, 6 days, 18 hours, 50 minutes.
> Quit Date: September 4, 2003 9:40pm MST
>
> Maggie
>
>


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005
    ... not smoking. ... all the years, who had suffered hourly, trying to quit smoking at AS3. ... for 3 weeks for a med adjustment in April as one of the new meds I was ... You never want a medical crisis or a near death experience. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005
    ... > always) with his DOF speech on ... > not smoking. ... > to quit smoking at AS3. ... > of the new meds I was ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005
    ... Congrats on your DOF Maggie ... > not smoking. ... > all the years, who had suffered hourly, trying to quit smoking at AS3. ... > for 3 weeks for a med adjustment in April as one of the new meds I was ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005
    ... > not smoking. ... > all the years, who had suffered hourly, trying to quit smoking at AS3. ... > for 3 weeks for a med adjustment in April as one of the new meds I was ... > in a locked down mental health facility twice. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)
  • Re: DOF Sept 4, 2005
    ... > not smoking. ... > all the years, who had suffered hourly, trying to quit smoking at AS3. ... > for 3 weeks for a med adjustment in April as one of the new meds I was ... > in a locked down mental health facility twice. ...
    (alt.support.stop-smoking)