- From: "Patsy" <patsyanddennie@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 16:28:40 -0400
thanks echo for all the informatiom.....this realy is helping....i hope and
wish all the new quiters will read it to....it really makes sence and
helps.....i know i have a long way to go but i also know i want this quit
more than i want to smoke.....and with one day at a time i will do it....and
my choice is i will not even take one puff........but i also know i can't
get too cocky......and ur story is just as imporant as mine maybe even
more....:)...........thanks again Patsy
"Echo" <nomail@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> Hi Patsy, ....i'll do my best to ease your mind..
> I won't bore you with the details of my story..what's important is that I
> had an "ah ha" moment sometime while reading and digesting every single
> word on this web site http://www.joelspitzer.com/selfhelp.htm
> You can download a pdf of the teachings here:
> What i learned during this time was to stop that damned self-defeating
> attitude that I'm kind of seeing in your posts. I don't want to sound
> harsh, but my advise is "get over it". There's only one option for you
> Patsy, and that is to NEVER take another puff. Simple. Period. It's your
> Once you accept that you are an addict, and that there is no silly
> "NicoDemon" contolling your thoughts, and the more you embrace your quit
> rather than this constant fighting with youself, the, the easier you
> recovery will be.
> Read these..perhaps they will help.
> Embrace your recovery Patsy. Even the cravings...they only last a few
> You may also find this group inspirational...I did!
> Finally, you need to learn how to care for your quit as beautifully
> written here:
> It says:
> Caring for Our Quit
> The recovered cocaine addict, the heroin addict, the nicotine addict -
> each knows the law of addiction. They've heard it over and over and over.
> Just one, just once, that's all it ever takes and it's back! They've also
> read or heard about the relapse study data indicating that 95% of
> recovered addicts who take just one puff, one hit, one snort or one
> injection, experience full and complete relapse. They know the rule of
> addiction and they know what happens if they break it. Then why do we?
> There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the
> law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and, (3) a vague memory. It doesn't
> matter if it happens within two weeks after quitting, two months, two
> years, or twenty years, the factors remain the same and apply to all of
> us. Rewriting the law of addiction is easy and you don't need a pencil,
> paper or computer to do it.
> "Just one puff" and then "do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go
> directly to the addict's prison and surrender your freedom for good." It
> isn't that the recovering nicotine addict doesn't know or believe the law
> of addiction, because we do.
> It's just that we begin to believe that we're the exception. We convince
> ourselves that we're stronger than those who wrote the law, and those came
> before us. We amend the law. We put ourselves above it.
> "Just one, it'll be ok, I can handle it, I'm stronger than the others, a
> little reward, it's been a while, I've earned it."
> I'm sorry. As soon as those words are spoken, it's over.
> Instead of saying that you can handle" just one ," a truthful statement
> would have been "I can handle them all, give them all back to me, my
> entire addiction, all the ashtrays, the coughs, the smells, I want it all
> It's far easier to create an exception to the "law" than to admit the
> truth. A one pack a day addiction is 7,300 cigarettes a year.
> Don't picture smoking just one. Picture smoking 7,300 each and every
> year. "To thine own self be true." You deserve the truth - you paid the
> price - you earned it.
> The excuse can be anything. Usually the addict waits for that great
> excuse to come along, but some get tired of waiting and any old excuse
> will do. Even joy! A reunion with an old smoking buddy, a few drinks with
> friends, a wedding, a graduation, or even a baby's birth and a free
> nicotine laden cigar, why not! But joyful relapse is harder to explain to
> yourself and to those you love.
> The smart nicotine addict waits for the great excuse, the one that we know
> we can sell to ourselves and others. As sick as it may sound, the easiest
> to sell and the best of all is the death of a loved one. Although
> everyone we love is destined to die and it will happen sooner or later,
> for the reformed addict it's the perfect excuse for relapse. I mean, who
> can blame us for ingesting highly addictive drugs into our bodies upon our
> mother's death. Anyone who does would have to be extremely insensitive or
> totally heartless! Right? Losing a job, the end of a relationship,
> illness, disease or financial problems are all are great excuses too -
> it's drug time again! The addicts back!
> But an excuse doesn't work alone. It needs help. Failing memories of
> "why" we were willing to put ourselves through pure "Hell" in order to
> break free, breathes fatal life into any excuse.
> Most of us failed to keep a detailed record of why we quit or what it was
> like. Instead, we're forced to rely upon our memory to accurately and
> vividly preserve the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
> But now, the memory in which we placed all our trust has failed us.
> It isn't that your memory is bad, faulty or doing anything wrong. In
> fact, it's working as it should to preserve in as much detail as possible
> the joyful events of life, while forgetting, as quickly as possible, all
> the pain and hurt that we've felt, including all of the wrong we've done.
> To have our brains do otherwise would make life inside our minds
> unbearable. If women were forced to remember the true agony and intense
> pain of childbirth, most would have just one. God blessed us with the
> gift to forget.
> So how does the reformed nicotine addict who failed to keep accurate
> records of their journey, revive their passion for freedom and recall the
> price they paid for liberty. If we forget the past, are we destined to
> repeat it? Not necessarily. It doesn't have to be. But just as any
> loving relationship needs nourishment to flourish, we can never take our
> quit for granted or the flame will eventually die and the fire will go
> out. We have to want to protect it until the day we die. We have to turn
> that "want" into action. If we do, we win. If not, our fate may be
> similar to almost all who don't - relapse followed by crippling disease or
> early death.
> Whether it's daily, weekly or monthly, our quit needs care. If you don't
> have a detailed log to regularly review upon each anniversary of your quit
> or at each birthday, do your best to create one now. Talk to those still
> smoking and ask for help in revitalizing your memories. Encourage them to
> be as truthful as possible. Although they may look like they're enjoying
> smoking, the primary joy they get is in keeping their body's nicotine
> level with the comfort zone, so as to avoid the agony of early withdrawal.
> Show them your pen and paper, let them help you make your list. You may
> even cause a spark in them. Be kind and sincere. It wasn't long ago that
> those were our shoes.
> Think about that first week. What was it like? Can you still feel the
> powerful craves as your body begged and cried to be fed? Can you still
> feel the pain? Do you see yourself not being able to concentrate, having
> difficulty sleeping, feeling depressed, angry, irritable, frustrated,
> restless, with tremendous anxiety, a foggy mind, sweating palms, rapidly
> cycling emotions, irrational thinking, emotional outbursts or even the
> shakes? Do you remember these things? Do you remember the price you paid
> for freedom?
> If you have access to a computer, you wont' need a smoker's help. You can
> go on-line to scores of smoking cessation support groups and find
> thousands of battles being fought, hear tons of cries and watch hundreds
> who won't make it through "Hell Week" to the hope that lies beyond. Visit
> as often as possible. Make a few posts to those in need. Share your
> valuable quit wisdom and give the gift of hope. Most don't know what it's
> like to be free. Most have few remaining memories of the days before
> their addiction. Fear of the unknown is frightening. Help them and in
> doing so help yourself.
> If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the law of addiction, stop,
> think, remember, read, revisit, revive and give to others, but most
> important, be honest with you. Terrible and emotional events will happen
> in each of our lives - such is life. Relapse won't fix, correct or undo
> any of them. In your mind, plan for disaster today. How will you cope?
> What will do? Remember, your addiction is real. Today it sleeps. Will
> it sleep tomorrow?
> Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! [end quote]
> http://www.whyquit.com Specefically
> "Patsy" <patsyanddennie@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
>>i just read ur post where i am it is 12:41pm aug 5.....so i didn't see it
>>yesterday.....anyway u were right and i didn't want to admit it to
>>myself.....i was wanting just one my mind kept saying just one then u will
>>be fine....but even before i read the web site u gave me this was what i
>>was telling myself too....if i smoked one then i KNOW it would be DOWN TO
>>2 THEN 3 THEN 4 THEN 5 ETC and all i have went through would been for
>>nonething.....it helped to see it written down on how i was feeling but
>>thank god i didn't do it i am still smoke free.....i am so proud of my
>>meter i don't want to break it either.......i have never gone cold turkey
>>and i am stubborn enough not to give in when i make up my mind about
>> i quit july 1 and on patches and had a lot of problems.....so i broke my
>> quit with 3 ciggs but got right back on track.....in 36 days i had 3
>> ciggs......but here is the meter when i went right back.......2 Weeks, 3
>> Days, 4 hours, 19 minutes and 3 seconds17687$103.412 Days, 9 hours and 15
>> minutes7/19/2005 8:30 AMI have been quit for 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 4 hours, 19
>> minutes and 3 seconds (17 days). I have saved $103.41 by not smoking 687
>> cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 9 hours and 15 minutes of my life. My
>> Quit Date: 7/19/2005 8:30 AM..................
>> ok now i was really haveing problems with patches by then so one day i
>> just got mad said no more i am going cold turkey......yes i was scared
>> but desperate also....my last hope and even though right now i am
>> craveing like mad this is my meter for the ct...........Six days, 12
>> hours, 31 minutes and 20 seconds. 260 cigarettes not smoked, saving
>> $38.87. Life saved: 21 hours, 40 minutes.
>> in less than 12 hrs i will make it a week with no nicoten in me at all
>> so echo u are so smart i really love ur posts......why am i craveing so
>> bad and still have this junky thinking.....i have fought harder on this
>> ct than i ever have on anything......the day i decided to go ct i told my
>> self Patsy u lost a son 12 yrs ago that is the worst thing that could
>> ever happen yet u are still liveing u work each day to get through it ur
>> heart is broke but u know u have to go on.....and i thought damit i have
>> to be a strong woman to get through this so why in the hell do u let a
>> white stick try to rule ur life and then i went cold turkey
>> can u tell me what all will happen next and what to watch for and how
>> long these craveings will last
>> sorry for the long post sometimes i just need to talk and my family won't
>> listen so this helps me......:).......ty..........Patsy
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