OT: A Friday offering to Xena




COMMENTS OVERHEARD AT A BRAINSTORMING MEETING BETWEEN
TED NUGENT AND
THE EDITORS OF GOURMET MAGAZINE WHERE THEY WERE DISCUSSING THE UPCOMING BOOK
GOURMET MAGAZINE'S VEGAN COOKING
WITH TED NUGENT:

What exactly do you mean by "not likely to own a spit"?
Quail's good, right? I mean quail can't really be considered meat.

Fair enough, sweetheart, but I also don't remember where in the Constitution
it says I have to play nice with delusional hippies.

Then what the hell do they hang on their walls?

I might give half a damn what Moby serves if I had half a clue who the
sonofabitch was.

That's where you're wrong, chief. Plenty of people eat badger. I had badger
for breakfast, actually.

Replace sweetbreads with chickpeas? How 'bout I replace your face with my
fist?

Really? Mashed potatoes? I'm on board with that. Hot damn! We got one! Mark
it down, boys! Mashed fu- Without what? Without bu- You're shittin' me,
right? Un-fuckin'-believable...

Yes, "Nugent's Nougat" does sound very cute, Tinkerbell. But, as I've tried
to make crystal-clear, I'm not a friggin' nancypants.

Wang Dang Sweet ... Potato Pie ... Pea Soup ... you know, something like
that. We gotta work it in somewhere.

Tofurkey? Tofuckyou.

No way. I don't budge on this one. The muskrat tartar stays. The pansies
will just have to deal.

What's it matter? I'm gonna be killin' it anyway.


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