Re: Losing my mind
- From: "Michelle C" <bookbug_35@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:42:33 -0700
<tralyn88@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi everyone.
First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
these last 24 hours or so.
Hey Tracie,
Everyone is a little nutty when first facing diabetes. That is normal.
You'd be a nutcase if you weren't a nutcase--if you get what I'm saying.
I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
Very scary.
I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
energetic when I wake up.
Sounds like a step in the right direction. :-)
Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
(Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
up in my eyes.
It's a big, big adjustment--so much information to take in and apply.
Naturally, any added stressor like assh*ole parking critics are going to put
you over the top. And besides all the info to absorb, many newly diagnosed
start to look at themselves differently and feel like they are failures. I
know I did. But no, you'll find you are the same person you always were
with the same sense of humor, hobbies, etc. You are NOT a diabetic; you are
a person with diabetes. I know it seems like I'm mincing words, but there
is a world of difference.
So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
I've found that some friends don't know how to react. It's scary to them
just the way it is scary to you. They really have no knowledge, so they
have nothing concrete to offer in the way of support. So they behave as if
it's no big deal (kind of like your friends did). Not having any knowledge,
they prefer to minimize the situation. It seems uncaring, but really it's
just that they don't want to think you of as not okay. They love you and
can't deal with it.
It these situations, it's difficult, because you're going to have to educate
them. Like telling the friend who talked about the dessert you can't eat
that you really don't want to hear about it because you can't share in the
enjoyment.
Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
sure why.
On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
the moment, so it could be that.)
So ... I'm really struggling now.
Thanks for reading this.
-tracie
As others have said, your body may be adjusting to running a lower BG--and
it's protesting. When you get a glucometer, you'll be able to test and find
out if you're really having a hypo or if your body is just putting up a
fuss.
While we're all a little different on what we can tolerate--especially in
the veggie and fruit dept--until you get your glucometer, you probably want
to minimize the following foods in your diet: wheat products, rice,
potatoes, fruit juices (you might as well drink soda), bananas, grapes,
anything with cornstarch in it like gravies/sauces. I can't give
recommendations on other foods because we're all so variable. For example,
I can eat raw carrots with no problem, but cooked ones I have to limit.
You'll find your own "peculiarities" when you get your meter.
It's no fun at all to go through this adjustment period, but believe me,
you'll get the hang of everything and will do just fine. I predict that in
a few short months, you'll be one of those on ASD giving advice and support
to newbies. :-)
--
Best regards,
Michelle C., T2
diet & exercise
BMI 21.5
.
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- Losing my mind
- From: tralyn88
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