Re: OT: Higher senses

This post not CC'd by email
On Sun, 6 Jan 2008 12:04:30 -0800 (PST), "Michelle C."
<bookbug2005@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Hi Quentin,

Here's the perpetual question..this time regarding empathy...is
empathy a result of nature or nurture?

G'day G'day Michelle,

Nature or nurture? It is question I seldom bother with on the basis
that such false dichotomies seldom show signs of resolution.

IMHO they are the sort of questions lazy university lecturers put in
assignments to torture under graduates.

The fact that I've gone to the trouble of writing the post would tend
to suggest I believe it is not all nature. Put simply, if it is all
nature then I'd be wasting my time. IMHO there is something in the
nature of the people who post here that only needs reawakening every
now and again.

Of course it may be a self healing activity that has little to do with
other people. By attending to the "good" in the world, I'm less
absorbed with the unpleasant things that happen to me on a daily
basis.

My expectation is that like everything else, it is probably both.

Agreed. Isn't that where most of the nature vs nurture arguments end
up. I simply save time by not bothering to debate the issue.

However, I have found myself
wondering whether teaching empathy to one's offspring is in vogue
now. When I was a child (many moons ago), any time a child (including
myself) did something the least bit offensive, some adult--parent,
grandparent, teacher--was quick to point out how the recipient of the
rude behavior must feel. "How would you feel if so and so just did
that to you? Would you like it?" In this way children were taught to
put themselves in another person's shoes. Would childern learn
empathy, or learn it as well without this instruction?

I love the example you give though I don't recall myself being taught
in a similar fashion. My parents seemed to think I figured things out
for myself so I felt obliged to do so since no help was coming from
elsewhere.

Along the way I was exposed to the adult education lectures my mother
attended. What I'm trying to say is I grew up surrounded by
beneficent adults who didn't treat me a child. I behaved like them.

I would say that the women who went to the young mother, recognizing
the depth of her distress, put themselves in the shoes of others in
most social situations and attempt to ameliorate any problems they
see. Good for them! As you pointed out, they helped keep the
situation in balance, allowing the distressed mother to regain her
composure rather than succumb to the dreaded "what ifs" her fear
invoked.

I was impressed at how appropriately they went for a result. They
cared and knew action was required. Many people saw the need. Only
a couple took action in real time. For the others it was too late.
Somehow they weren't primed to act appropriately when the time was
ripe. Perhaps it is because of their upbringing. It could well be
that they had experiences such as those you mentioned. It could have
been that they had parents and other adults who acted similarly and
knew "it was what you did" If they did it off the cuff then their
emotional intelligence was at the genius level.

I've been around people who have no apparent empathy (or at least
profess none), and they are not the most pleasant of people to be
around.

They exist.

Naturally many people fall in between the extremes of those who are
particularly empathetic and those who have none.

Thanks for the interesting topic.

Since this is a support group, a group in which personal interest
takes a hind place, it is of interest to us all.

Best regards,
Michelle C., T2
diet & exercise

www.musicbydalelynch.com

Best wishes,
--
Quentin Grady ^ ^ /
New Zealand, >#,#< [
/ \ /\
"... and the blind dog was leading."

http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/quentin
.

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