Re: What Makes Some Guys Get More Girls?

In alt.support.diabetes on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:51:13 +1000 in Msg.#
<83h2d3p04vi8d6et75hb3ls01rrgdf7i48@xxxxxxx>, Alan S
<loralgtweightandcarbs@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Sun, 26 Aug 2007 01:59:39 -0400, DonnaB shallotpeel
<shallotpeel@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
<read, confused and snipped for brevity>

But, I think the question being posed is whether or not this is a claim that
any/all Aussies would accept any/all Aussie tossing any/all pejorative terms
at them & take it with aplomb. Going by what you said earlier, Alan, it
would seem your answer is no. Going by everything OzGirl has said it would
seem her answer is yes. I simply find 'yes' an answer that is impossible to
believe.

I'm sorry; somewhere in there I got totally confused. In
fact, I thought Jan and I were agreeing.

Okay, this is what you said that I found dramatically different than what
Jan has been saying:

In alt.support.diabetes on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 09:52:07 +1000 in Msg.#
<qnf1d3l9h444qd543o6v4r2a3ed1i5c4am@xxxxxxx>, Alan S
<loralgtweightandcarbs@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Down here we tend to be more interested in intent.

You can call me a *** seventeen different ways with a
smile on your face (preferably while offering me a drink)
and I won't mind. Say it with a sneer or with specific
references to my ancestry and you will need to step back.
You can call me your friend, in a snake-oil salesman way
without meaning it, or suggest I "have a nice day" totally
thoughtlessly and I'll get upset because you weren't
sincere.

Forget the words; the underlying meaning is what matters.

Get over it.

You call it intent. Will calls it context. I call it context & additionally
bring up not being able to gauge tone here in a text only environment. But,
we cannot know each other's intents, except for those we are very very
simpatico with. And, we cannot begin to even try to get at each other's
intents without going through the mechanism of words (since words are all we
have, ... a little BeeGees). When it's hard, then, back & forth CAN be very
helpful, but only if people will & do actually talk to each other & have
dialogue.

"dumb fishies", who is a sensible and rational poster on any
other subject, seemed to be getting obsessive on the words
rather than the meaning; my comment was related to that.
Somehow that has developed into an international incident.

I don't really agree with you here, but let's go on.

Let's be clear. I do not live in an antiseptic Nirvana. In
Australia we have our own political and social problems and
we certainly aren't perfect. We have some cultural aspects
in common with our Anglo-Saxon founders, as you do, and some
that are unique to us. We also have sexists, bigots,
racists, and several other nasty -ists. Hopefully, they are
less prevalent than some other places, but we certainly
still have them. Just watch the riots and disruption in
Sydney next week when APEC meets and your "great leader"
arrives here.

On the other hand, I can walk the back streets of any major
city in this land alone at 3 am - and have done so in all of
them - without fear (note that I drove cabs on the night
shift in Melbourne for 17 years). Similarly I can wander
alone in country towns and my only fear would be unfriendly
dogs, not people. I do not personally know a friend or
relative in this country undergoing analysis; although I
accept that maybe some of them should. And I have no fear of
bankruptcy no matter what illness I get nor what treatment
it requires.

Women in my country are respected and equal. They had to
fight for that, as yours did, and there are still some
battles to be won as Jan will affirm. But the ladies I know
are confident enough of their own worth to ignore trivial
names and old stereotypes and reserve their anger and their
energy for the important battles; like glass ceilings, or
better child-care centre availability for working Mums, or
better support for Mums like Jan to stay home and look after
their kids, to name just a few.

Those ladies from a.s.d that I have met in my travels -
including four in the USA and two in the UK - would fit in
here very well. They have that same confidence in
themselves.

So, I'll still base my responses on my perception of a
person's intent, no matter what they call me, and I'll still
come home to live in my relative paradise no matter how far
I roam.

Sorry - it got a bit long. You may have touched a nerve:-)

You've touched many. But, I will just speak to one, and that is that having
confidence in your own self-worth does not protect one from discrimination
or bigotry, nor does it make the world a better place by fighting the good
fight against discrimination or bigotry. And, that has zip to do with
gender. It applies equally. And, maybe they're trivial names to you & maybe
they're old stereotypes to you, but, they are not either one everywhere.
And, I am shocked that you would not know that. And, yeah, glass ceilings
and child care et al are all part & parcel of fighting against
discrimination, though that is far from an inclusive list!

--
DonnaB shallotpeel

"Caring. Not the most exciting of words, is it? Almost as humble as a tool.
But that is the Alchemist's Stone of human endeavour." - Dimetos (1975) by
Athol Fugard South African dramatist
.

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