Re: [OT] The Lean Plate Club ; Eat Your Carbs - 30-JUL-2006 - Cheri - Will, vent

Will, this *kid*..... oh, I don't know what to say. He really is a good kid
(this age *is* a kid to his 64 y/o gmil :). He is really good to his mother
(badly abused then divorced), and grandmother, and the other women in his
life, except.......... his wife! What Jim and I worry about is the example
he saw of his father who was mean to all in his family, including his sons,
which landed him in jail a couple of years ago, and now estranged from the
entire family.

On the job situation, he is a very good, trained, and licensed heating and
a/c guy, whatever that title may be. However, it is his attitude that gets
in his way. He feels whatever R wants, R should get. I wonder if this
perhaps comes from his father's attitude and example of deserving whatever
it is that he wants, and when he wants it???? Do not know his father that
well, and guess I'll never get the chance to know him better. Just a for
instance, when R applied for one job since we've known him, he stated at the
interview that his fil was providing a vacation time in FL for the whole
family (they are *giving while living* rather than leaving inheritances),
and he would *have* to be able to have that week off. Now, this would be
shortly after beginning the employment. Me? I've always had to work the
prerequisite amount of time before **earning** that time off, as do most
people.

He also has a way of *working people* so that he comes across as in their
camp, seemingly interested and knowledgeable in whatever the discussion may
be. However, Jim and I were not born yesterday, and have watched him over
these past few years, and now we are to the point of not believing much of
anything he says.

I am a very understanding (Jim thinks TOO understanding! :) person, and when
he was becoming so agitated with him, I told him for one thing, his
granddaughter loved him, and he should at least give him some respect for
her benefit. Okay. You can think what you like, but at least keep the
cutting remarks down. Well, after this last visit up there, this ole gal
finally got agitated herself!!! Guess he fulfilled the prerequisites for
proof finally. Remarks that Jen innocently made while we were shopping
raised the hair on my back, bristled my feathers (or something like that,
anyway :). For one thing, a mother should not have to worry about buying
things her new baby needs.... not niceties, but needs! She shouldn't have
to worry about having to buy the clothing required for HER TO WEAR TO WORK
(while he is unemployed).

A few weeks before we went up there, Jen had asked me if I could help out on
their rent for that month (would have been June, IIRC), with the stipulation
of it being a loan this time, that they would pay back. :) he he I thought
it a good chance just to see how much importance would be paid to this
repayment (R determines how the money *she* makes is spent (very, very bad
sign!)). Will, my granddaughter is not dumb or stupid or anything like
that, but he really appears to have her snowed about some things. She
really believes some of what he tells her. Of course, you know, as I knew,
that there was no beginning of the repayment as promised. However, while we
were there over the 4th holiday for Matthew's birthday, I was sitting at
their dining table which had sitting in the middle of it, a huge sack filled
to overflow of fireworks for the 4th. Here she is, fearful of spending too
much on baby supplies (even an emergency bottle of ready-to-feed formula
while we were in W-M shopping - a couple of dollars), they cannot even make
a token repayment of the loan, and HE can spend money on his play things!
He, also, did not provide one single penny towards Matthew's b'day party.
His fil, our son, paid for it all, while he struts around like a big whig.
Sometimes, Jen acts like she is afraid to act on what she thinks or
believes, and *has* to do whatever his opinions are. ***THIS*** really
scares me! But, what can I do?

I just reread my first statements. This doesn't look good, does it? Of
course he is good to his mother, and of course she doesn't see any fault in
her son. She was totally oblivious to any shortcomings on his part, even
concerning his unemployment. It was like supporting the alcoholic. Cannot
think of the word I'm looking for right now, but you know what I mean.

Didn't mean to get so involved, and I guess it best if we take this
off-list. It just not only makes me angry, it scares me even more. I know
too much about domestic abuse, and the begats. She doesn't think he would
ever do anything to harm her (yes, we've been able to broach the edges of
the subject... she and I are pretty close). We were text messaging after we
were home from the trip, and I was asking her if everything was okay. Of
course it was. However, she became very quiet after that, too busy to text
as we normally do, seeming to avoid me.

Oh, enough!! But it does feel better to have said it all. I think I am
very worried, and I am like a mother hen. My children are not perfect, but
you better not mistreat them, *especially* those BABIES!!

Thanks for listening, Will. I know in your profession you do it daily, but
I really do appreciate it.

Billie





"W.M.McKee" <wmmckee@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:g00ad2dfb1qlrg9gdbtq3nbm13nvppi5p0@xxxxxxxxxx
: You ladies are really wonderful. I have to admit it is hard to
: understand someone who is perfectly able to work and does nothing,
: unless he is in school, or working on some sort of life goal... Is he
: an artist of some sort, Billie? Everyone has to have some abiding
: work, goal, or life interest of some sort, it seems... Life is so much
: better when lived with purpose, I think.
:
: Hope you are feelin good today, Billie.
:
: My best to you, also, Cheri :-)
:
: Will, T2


.

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