Re: Diabetic with healthy partners

On Tue, 21 Mar 2006 16:20:08 GMT, Jeanie <taureanmoon@xxxxxxxxx>
Huffed and Puffed the following into the madness of usenet:

hilbert wrote:
My wife is healthy, unlike me - who is trying to get his
bg under control with diet/exercise and medicine. So I hate
to see her make unreasonable sacrifice when we eat out.


When I go to, say, a chinese restaurant - there is nothing
that I can have apparently that won't cause bg spikes. Mostly
its the rice that sends it shooting. Same for thai restaurants - no
curries with coconut milk for me anymore! So while I would like to go
to restaurants that were both of ours favourites (hers especially),
we no longer can. Its not a very big deal - but I am wondering
whether you deal with similar things and how you do it.

Thank you for your suggestions!

The only Chinese restaurants around where I live are buffet-types, so
asking for any of the food to be prepared differently isn't an option.
If I go, just about the only things there I can eat are the beef and
broccoli and the cashew chicken (just a little bit). Since my buffet
dinner costs the same as the rest of the family's and since I'm only
eating a little bit of food, it doesn't seem worth it, so we've only
gone once since I was diagnosed. My husband believes in getting his
money's worth, so listening to him complain about paying $10 for me to
have such a little amount of food just isn't worth it. I do much better
when we go to a steak house where I can have a small steak, steamed
veggies instead of the potato, and a small salad bar. But since fast
food places are just about all there is around here, we aren't eating
out much anymore.

I am the only diabetic in the household and I prepare the meals for my
husband and two teens. I've tried to put them on the same foods that
I'm eating, but we cannot afford it. Without rice, potatoes, pasta,
bread and the like, it costs a small fortune to feed teenagers who both
seem to have a hollow leg they are trying to fill up. And I end up
cooking two meals and hiding the food that I can eat to keep them from
using it for "snacks" and leaving me with nothing to eat long before the
next shopping trip.

It's torture for me to stand there and prepare stuffing, rice, pasta,
sweet potatoes, and the like when I can't eat a bite of it, yet I have
to do it. I find that I'm deeply depressed over this most of the time
and can't seem to shake it off. It's been nearly two months since I was
diagnosed and I have not "cheated" a single time, yet my BG levels go up
and down, seemingly regardless of what I'm eating. I'm taking metformin
500mg twice a day and it's not doing much good. It's very frustrating.
To be honest, I go hide in the bathroom and cry a lot lately.

There isn't a lot of sympathy around here for my plight and when my
older kids and their families come over, I'm cooking for 16 people, tons
of things that I cannot even taste anymore. This is torture. It
doesn't help when they keep saying, "Just a bite won't hurt you, will
it? Come on and try a bite, it's sooooo good." My husband seems to
think this is just a "phase" and that I'll get over it and be back to
normal eventually, like I had strep throat or something. He thinks the
metformin will make everything normal again. Even though the doctor has
told him differently, he doesn't believe it. This is hard to deal with.

How in the world do I cope with this?

Jeanie


Speak your mind, plainly and honestly. You can start by writing
something just like this to your family and reading it to them or
having them read it themselves.

You can do like some of my friends have done, and simply blow up and
tell people off when they do not listen to you. That has
consequences, especially when the people involved are not used to
thinking outside their immediate surroundings.

Stop cooking for large groups. Make the others get involved in doing
that. What are you, their caterer? I cook because I enjoy cooking.
One of the things that keeps it enjoyable is to cook what I want to
cook. If they don't like what I prepare for a party, then they don't
have to come next time, or they can pitch in and cook some of the food
themselves. I learned a long time ago, never attempt to please the
family in "my" own house. It's one thing if someone says, I am
allergic to XXX and it could cause me serious trouble. Verses, "I
want XXXX".

As for the husband, if the straight forward talk doesn't get through
to him, then telling him to grow the *** up is what he needs.
Seriously, when was the last time you sat him down and told him he is
letting you down and his foolishness about your diagnosis and lack of
emotional support is hurting you.

Look around your local hospitals and ask if any have a face to face
diabetes support group. If they do, go a few times. Talk about these
issues without your husband around. Then eventually bring him with
you.

Don't forget that his denial of your disease is a defense mechanism.
He doesn't understand the disease, doesn't feel that he can do
anything about it, so he reacts by denying that it is really a
problem. And in so doing creates new problems he wasn't expecting.
This is a reason for the behavior, but in no way is it right.

Do any of those buffets have the Mongolian style grill? Pick your own
ingredients and have them cooked in front of you. One person I know
will get a glass of water and she will dip the meats and veggies
covered in heavy sauces in it to remove some of the sauce. She just
sits the cup next to her, dips, taps the food on her plate then eats
it. She's not even diabetic. And no body gets grossed out. Sometimes
she asks for a new glass of water with no ice if she has a big meal.

Also you may need to ask you doc about your meds. From what I
understand 1000 mg a day of met is not that much. What about
exercise? do you have a regular exercise routine? That will allow
you control your BGs and even eat more while doing so. Such as going
for a 30 minute walk after a meal greatly reduces post meal BGs.

--
Mâck©® Deltec CoZmore Pumper
Type 1 since 1975
http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org
http://www.diabetic-talk.org
http://www.insulin-pumpers.org



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