We Need These : )
- From: ensoul <ensoul98@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:51:30 -0700 (PDT)
some corny jokes, from Prairie Home Companion:
What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? Second grade.
A guy goes into a doctor's office wearing nothing but a piece of cling
film around his waist. The doctor says, "I can clearly see you're
nuts."
This man is walking by an insane asylum and he hears the inmates
inside chanting inside "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen…" He is so
fascinated that he walks up to the door and puts his eye up the
keyhole and somebody pokes him in the eye with a sharp stick and the
inmates start changing "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen…"
I woke up this morning and I felt so bad that I tried to kill myself
by taking a thousand aspirin. But after the first two, I felt better.
Copy-editing is a very stressful line of work. Every time one of us
misses a period, we get really nervous
..
So the dyslexic walked into the bra.
Why does an archeologist make a good husband? Because the older you
get, the more interested he is in you.
"Hey. Nice earring. How long have you been wearing an earring?" "Ever
since my wife found it in the car."
My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear
her clothes again.
Did you hear about the exhibitionist who was going to retire?
He changed his mind, and decided to stick it out for one more year.
What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Unitarian: Some
one who goes around knocking on doors but isn't sure why.
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He told the
bartender that the newt's name was Tiny. "Why?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!" replied the man.
A man walked out of the bar and got in his car and a policeman came
over and said, "Sir, your eyes seem to be bloodshot. Have you been
drinking?" The man looked at the police officer and replied, "Officer,
your eyes seem to be glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
A Hindu, Rabbi, and lawyer were traveling together in the country late
one night when their car broke down. They asked a farmer if they could
spend the night. He said they could, but he only had two spare beds.
One of them would have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu said, "That's o.k. I'm a simple man. I can sleep in the
barn. They all agreed and bedded down for the night,two minutes later
there was a knock at the door. It was the Hindu. He said, "I'm sorry,
but there is a cow in the barn. It's against my religion to sleep
with a cow. The Rabbi said, "That's o.k. I'm a simple man. I can sleep
in the barn. They all agreed and bedded down for the night, two
minutes later there was a knock at the door. It was the Rabbi. He
said, "I'm sorry, but there is a pig in the barn. It's against my
religion to sleep with a pig. The lawyer, becoming flustered, said,
"O.k., o.k., I'll sleep in the barn!" They all agreed and bedded down
for the night. .Two minutes later there was a knock at the door. It
was the cow and pig.
.
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