Re: good and bad news - stop changing my subject!! :)

You always bring a smile to my face, unless of course you share that
you're having a hard time, then I'm not smiling..
The first time when I went in for the ESI (he injected the epidural
space), I got some relief in the middle (for like 3 days), then I got
about a week of relief in what (he showed me a model thing) I believe
are the facets.. I clearly explained that to the prick, and he writes
"no clear explanation from patient".. BULL***! omfw.

Is it possible that my L5-S1 nerve impingement is affecting the
facets? Radiating? God, I tried to tell them exactly where it hurts
but evidently I wasn't clear enough or they weren't listening. I
don't know what radiating pain means except when it's sciatica. It's
pretty weird when I trust this group more than I trust my doctors..but
who better to trust than people who have gone through what I'm going
through. The doc who did the ESI diagnoses is 1. degenerative disc
disease 2. facet arthropothy (i'm going by memory. sorry if I spelled
anything wrong. I'm too lazy to get up and find the report in the
massive amounts of files and folders sitting on my kitchen counter)

I've tried to tell them that my pain goes "across my back" but that's
not really accurate, I guess.. ? The pain that wakes me up at night
is from my discs.. It feels like someone is in there with a hot, long
knife trying to pry me open. That's the best way I know how to
describe how it feels. Sometimes I move and I hear cracks (same thing
w/ my knees whenever I go up/down stairs, and I have DJD w/ bone spurs
in both knees). 4 a.m. today, I noticed that not only were the discs
hurting but the left to the side was as well (not noticing the right
side) and both were cracking when I moved.. I also told her that
sometimes the left hurts worse, sometimes the right.. it fluctuates.
Mind you, they always hurt.. but sometimes it's worse than other
times, which makes me wonder if it's radiating from the disc
problems.. It's almost it's like an upside-down Y. (My pain area)
Does this help with Stump the Amazing Goat? :)

If this doctor on Tuesday can't hear me and tell me what options I
might have, I'm going to ask for a 2nd opinion and to refer me to
either a spine doctor or someone else. I'm pretty sure I'm not going
to have any block done until I can get this straightened out. These 2
docs work for the same hospital, and I'm not sure they're going to be
willing to disagree with one another, or even if this doc will believe
that Dr. H's reports are inaccurate and untruthful. I should probably
play this really carefully and not go in there attacking the ***
doc. I'm just so angry right now, I'm still in shock. I had to put
away the reports because all of the lies in there were making me
sick. What's amazing is that now I know why he didn't dictate his
notes in front of me for the past 2 visits.. because he was going to
LIE about me and what I said in the visit!!
wonderful. (he's the type of arrogant sob that dictates in front of
his patients and then ask "wasn't that cool? how'd I do?")
last time when he walked in and asked "how are you" and I said "okay I
guess, how're you?" He says "great! Why aren't you Great?? Life is
GREAT!!!" he knows about my past (I have complex ptsd).. why on
earth.... ? ugh.

ok I'm sorry.. I have to stop bitching about this guy.. I just am
still in shock I guess.. I have to move forward and hold onto hope
that there is a doctor out there who will be able to help me and not
just give me pills that hardly help. That's not at all why I went to
see this physiatrist in the first place, and yes.. he is DEFINITELY
hurting me more than helping.. His 1. diagnoses for me is Fibro.. he
doesn't even acknowledge the DDD/bulging discs/didn't even tell me I
had a pinched nerve! This guy is a pill mill doctor. You called it.. I
wish I had known then what I know now.
I kick myself for wasting these past 2 years.. I didn't have a car
until recently, so I didn't even realize I would have any other
options.. until now. :) :) :) :) :)

Thanks again.. you can email me if you'd rather. ? Thank you so much
for your description of the facets.. I wasn't aware that those can get
blamed for other problems.. Maybe they don't know where the pain is
originating from..
I'm sure I'll post a follow-up after my appt. on Tuesday.. I'm going
to try to go in with a good attitude but also strong, self-assured,
and knowing what I know about my body and my pain. I have to be my
own advocate, because their patient advocate sucks donkey balls. they
really should call them advocates of the hospital group, not the
patients..

much respect and thanks
~Melissa

On Jan 22, 11:15 pm, "OldGoat" <oldgoatm...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Melissa,

I glad I could entertain you a bit or at least bring a smile to your face..
It's not an easy thing to do under the best of circumstances, every bit as
hard for the joker as the jokee, but what are the real alternatives? You can
choose between feeling rotten or feeling crummy all the time or lighten up a
little with those of us who have seen the absurd up close and in person, or
if we haven't seen it, we sure aren't surprised by some new heights of
absurdity and stupidity. I try to look at the whole thing as one big game of
"Stump the Goat."
Now lets take your facet block as an example. Forgive me if I get real
simple anatomically, it hard to tell where people are some times. If you
look at the vertabra bones in your spine from the back, they look like they
have a sort of butterfly wing shaped protusions on both sides. These are the
facets and the clearances are pretty tight. Nerves run through there among
among various other things which can cause pain if these little wings get
too close tight to each one another or something gets caught between. So
it's a good place to keep an eye on.
But  it's a spot that gets blamed all the time wrongly for a problem that's
really coming from some place else. If they worked on that facet spot for a
few weeks, with no improvement, and the doctors is still blaming the facets,
it could very well be time for a new doctor. A physiologist in this case may
be hurting you rather than helping. You go see a normal orthopedist and it
goes no place, it's time to hate orthopedists and see what a neurologist or
neurosurgeon may have some think,  if they do have thoughts that is
Same Bat time, Same Bat channel --og

"Cat Whisperer" <movetoh...@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message

news:a1368bc3-ca1b-4a6f-bc4b-4567ceb6d215@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for the laugh.. (adding 2 inches to your penis. I'm still
giggling) and the kind words.
I honestly don't want to get this facet block now.. The pain that
wakes me up in the middle of the night is from my discs.

I really don't want to go to yet another doctor who says I have nerve
impingement (at L5-S1 level), but seems to think that is secondary to
my facet joint pain.? wtf?  I'm hoping that nurse will call me back
today so I can discuss all of this with her.  Also to find out how the
hell she dealt with being Dr. H's boss.  But now, at least I have hope
that there is a doctor out there who will listen and HEAR me.. and
maybe actually DO something to help me.  If I wanted pills, I would
have been asking him to put me on something after the Oxycontin
fiasco.. (not to mention, I probably wouldn't have stopped the
Oxycontin at all) . I'm probably the only patient he has had that
tried to take herself off of the stuff.  (I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING
THIS BY YOURSELF unless you want stuff coming out of both ends
unexpectedly at any time!)    I am glad it helps you, though.. I just
don't think the dose he had me on was sufficient. (40 mg 2x/day)

I'm not very good with people who lie... This is all the more reason
why I am so glad that I learned to get ALL of my medical records/
reports/test results.. everything.. it's SO important to do this.  If
anything, it'll help me show what an *** this doctor has been to
me, since his "reports" totally disagree with the radiology findings.
I'm not sure how anyone could argue with an Xray, MRI or bone scan..
also, he never followed up with getting me into PT.. or helping me
fill out a disability discharge form for my old student loan.. which
in his notes says "will follow up on".   I can't wait to be free of
him!   If nothing else, this has been a very important lesson to me:
be my own health advocate.  And to trust myself.
And you.. and I'll try to stick around.  I gotta get some thicker skin
(haha no pun intended).  This happened in another newsgroup I belonged
to years ago.. couldn't handle how mean-spirited people there were..
Some of the replies I have gotten were reminiscent of that, so I had a
knee-jerk reaction. (although my knees can't do much of anything atm)

You, my friend, are a true gem.  I am so glad that you are involved
with this group. I look forward to reading your posts, and thanks for
the encouragement.. you've been so kind to me.  Thank you!!
Best, Melissa

On Jan 22, 4:20 am, "OldGoat" <oldgoatm...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:



Dear Michelle,

You aren't going any place, so get comfy. Your physiatrist is
unquestionably
an asshole, but before you go condemning all doctors as assholes (which is
not far from an accurate statement)
you should know they all lie. My first
doctor lied to me (and this will really blow your mind- he is now
currently
my pain doc. But he knows I am on to him) my 2nd doctor lied as did the
3rd
though he was more open to surgery than the others and I needed to be
paying
some bills and getting back to a real life whatever the cost. They all lie
it's the nature of the job. And face it, they have to tell some pretty
nice
people some pretty lousy things sometimes.
But this is how it works with backs, and forgive me if I repeat myself, I
don't know if I covered this with you or not. The human animal was never
meant to go about on two legs. We went from crawling on 4 to walking
upright
on 2. Not a good evolutionary leap, we should have at least kept our tails
for bit to balance us and make us steady. By skipping this step, we have
allowed every human being on the planet, every single last one of us to
all
kinds of problems with our backs. There is not a soul on the planet that
if
you ran them through an MRI would not have some spinal defect, some of
them
with unbelievable damage, yet they walk through life like there isn't a
thing wrong. Perfect physical specimens outside but walking medical
disaster
areas if you snap a pix of their innards.
So what all this got to do with your no good, lying ***, of a pain
fakir
who told you a bold faced lie when the reports all say you're a walking
mess? As I said they always lie, suggesting meds and PT for as long as
they
can put the patient from asking the hard question: why am I not getting
better? But they lie their little medical asses off, because every once in
a
while, the patient with the report that says they're a physical basketcase
does respond to PT and pills. You had the surgery. They even blew doing
that, the worthless bastards. What would you give right now if the PT and
pills did the trick?
So they lie. And they don't just tell little lies about who screwed who's
wife, they tell the BIG lies, the life and death kind of lies. The kind of
lies that if you really knew the truth, you might just go home and start
cleaning that Glock you keep on the top shelf or that shotgun you have
hidden in the closet. Or that 12 years old bottle of rat poison with
Nyquil
and 7-up chasers. I do not recommend the latter, it's a taste that stays
with you forever, and they don't call it toxic waste for nothing.
But in a doctor/ patient relationship, way before it gets to that creative
stage, the doctor should come out and level with the patient. Admit the
lies
and the reason behind them, and stop this insistent bull*** game that
everything is fine. The reports and studies all state things are pretty
damn
far from fine. And if there is nothing left for the patient than to cover
and mask the symptoms of the truly mangled spine, then that's what they
do,
no DEA mumbo-jumbo or federal fairytales. The time for lies is over, it's
time to face the truth like an adult and every couplemonths ask if there's
something new or promising on the horizon. Cause some day they're going to
have complete spinal replacements and it's going to be no bigger a deal
than
having your tonsils removed. And that's one list, even if it's still in
the
experimental stages, I want to be the first name on that mother. Maybe
they
could add a couple inches to my penis while I'm knocked out. Anything in
the
name of science.
But if you're going through all this bull*** to get away from this
***,
I would make it very clear at the first appointment, you have a computer
and
access to all the medical information that's fit to print and some that's
not fit to print. If they lie to you, you will catch them. And your whole
reason for switching docs is to get away from bull*** and lies. You
expect
none from them and in return they have the right to expect the same from
you. No stories about the Oxycontin Conga line that just danced right down
the drain. No alien visitors in the middle of the night. You deal a
straight
game and expect the same, when it's up to the house to deal. You will
advocate for yourself for better pain treatment for people in your
situation, and you will advocate for the doctors that treat them. None of
this pillmill nonsense, you're seeing a doctor to get well, not to have
some
"tasty waves and some cool buds". But that's another issue...
You aint going no place, there's too much to tell us what going on.

Best of luck for a real doctor--og


snipped for space


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