Re: Life or death question

LoriB.o.B. <banjobabe@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message:
49dde5da-a4de-4086-b016-66d1a5b6075a@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,

Dearest (((((((((OG)))))))))))),
I am in complete agreement w/everyone here especially of course Trish
who says it so well.
It IS WRONG to W/HOLD INFO about dying & yes, they generally seem to
know anyhow. I worked in a nursing home as a music therapy aide for a
long time & have seen it happen many times. It would drive me nuts
when administration would say "don't tell so & so they have/or they
are dying"...unless they had Dementia I would disagree not to tell
them as they'd ask me & what could I say? I always managed to say "go
w/your own feelings & TALK to your family & healthcare provider about
this".
As far as your sister goes (& god og, my heart just breaks for you on
this issue), People are going to do whatever they choose to do
regardless of what anyone else says or does...you can NEVER BLAME
YOU...please. I suppose you've (or somebody) sat down & REALLY TALKED
& LISTENED TO HER FEELINGS OF WHY SHE WANTS TO DIE, but that's all I
can suggest ...there's a loss of something w/in her that she just
needs to come to terms with.
My soul cries for you in your pain (((Og))).
Love,
LoriBoB


I'm not trying to be argumentative, but am I the only one who saw this
in his post:
"her's is a psych issue, so it's complex. She may put a plastic bag over
her head and tie the knot this
time."

I don't remember exactly what OG has said about his sister in the past,
but it was to the effect that she has some rather severe mental issues.
He has been essentially her guardian for many years now.

Nearly everyone has qualified their advice about not withholding
information, by saying that there are circumstances where it would not
be a good idea to tell the whole truth. Well, this is definitely one of
those circumstances. If the shrink doesn't think he can help her cope
with the truth, and that's apparently the case here, then his advice
should be followed--unless the family thinks they know better and is
ready to take full responsibility for helping their loved-one prepare
for death.

Yes, we all want to know if we're going to die soon--but only if we can
handle it. Sometimes family members have to decide for us whether or not
we can handle it. Needless to say, it's a judgment call and subject to
second-guessing, but if we can't trust our family to make those kinds of
decisions in our best interests then we're screwed anyway.

--
Juba
www.masterjuba.com


.

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