Re: OT Bridal Shower Disaster!
- From: Legend <livinnow@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:37:38 -0000
On Aug 28, 3:05 pm, Heippa Heippa! <ih...@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
On Aug 24, 10:31 am, angelsong <dhile...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
My lovely soon-to-be daughter was so afraid no one would come to her
bridal shower and that fear has come true. None of friends from her
work and social clicks are comming. None of her family from Ohio are
sending presents. (Her parents only pitched in $ 500.00 toward the
wedding which went a short ways - but it was all they could afford).
They love her very much, but.not financially able to help has much as
they might have wanted.
We pulled up the slack as best we can - but how can I beg people to
come to her shower if they don't know her? I want her to have the best
wedding and shower as possigle. any suggestions?
Angelsong
Angelsong,
I mostly lurk here, but I thought I would pipe up here.
I don't "do" work related showers. Period. Work does not equal
friendship, and work is work. If she works in a place with lots of
women, there is probably a shower/party about every four months or
something. Where I live, the cost of a gift is about $50+ for a
shower. I figure if I went to every shower than came down the pipe, I
would pay out about $600/year. The co workers are pleasant enough,
but would I see them outside of work? Nope. We travel in different
social circles and have different interests.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't give a card with a check for someone I do
enjoy working with. I just wouldn't burn off a weekend afternoon
doing shower games and watching a co worker unwrap the 20th piece from
their place setting.
Also, it is many work folks feel uncomfortable about coming to a
"family" shower, which usually means the group is shoved off into the
corner and ignored.
So...the work place may be just sending a "money card" around and will
give it to your future DIL at a later date.
Social clicks? Try having a couples shower/dinner at a bar or
restaurant. Especially is the group is small.
As for her family not coming....I'm going thru this right now. My SIL
is have a baby shower. She lives 5 states away from her husband's
family. Sent the invites too late for any cheapie flight bargins,
bonus-it is on a Sunday afternoon. It would cost me over $1000+
between plane flight, hotel, gift, and rental car. Sent the regrets
and SIL is blowing a nut that no one from her husband's side is
coming. I would rather send her the $1000 for a college fund, than to
spend all that money for 4 hours at a restaurant for someone I have
met once in 3 years.
Now I'm on her FOAD list. Oh well....guess it is the hormones.
Just cut the Ohio family a little slack about not coming. They maybe
doing something when the new hubby and wife come for a visit.
Angelsong, remind your DIL that is isn't all the hoopla at the shower/
wedding that makes a wonderful marriage. Plenty of folks have sunk $$$
$ into the wedding/shower industry, only to have the marriage crumble
in a few months. Don't beg folks to come.
Your DIL is getting one of the best gifts possible. You. A caring
mother-in-law. All the crappy over-frosted shower cakes and blah
gifts can't compare. DIL is getting your son. Maybe their marriage
last a life time.
Bat
Lots of very god points! I once took a part-time, temporary job, at a
place I had worked before. I had left for something higher-paying,
but, as my sister was coming to visit, with her family, and her two
boys were small then, and expected a lot from 'Santa Claus', I needed
some extra money.
Well, soon I found that it was 'traditional' to pitch in $5 for a grab
bag gift exchange, the same amount for a gift for the department head,
chip in for a pre-Christmas pizza party-and...at the last minute, one
co-worker found out that every department but ours was giving the
general manager a gift. So, about two days before the
break began, we scraped up enough to get him a small, but high
quality, bottle of brandy. It was like you weren't working there, if
you didn't give anything-everyone was involved. True, the company
held a '
Christmas party' that included a full dinner and open bar, and a visit
from 'Santa' with gifts for the kids, but I found out too late to put
my nephews on the list. If it hadn't been for a 25 dollar bonus, I
would have barely broken even! (If the amounts sound small, this was
bacck in 1983).
Most places don't require that much, its true, but imagine if someone
had announced her engagement during the festivities? Most of the
other expenses were expected by the regular workers, but for the new,
part-time, and temporary workers, it would be all that they could do
to keep up with what was requested during the 'season of giving'.
I still think that angelsongs dil has a chance of an 'office shower-
even if its only during a long lunch hour. It's become a tradition-
which many people still cling to.
Still, a shower isn't the most important thing, although it would be
good to have a nice one, with most, if not all, her loved ones in
attendance. Still,the wedding, as it is the ceremony that starts off
thr marriage, is the event with the most importance. And people are
always more important than events. The fact that you care, angel,
shows that your son and dil will be rich in the love of family-and
that's a good beginning for any marriage.
.
- References:
- OT Bridal Shower Disaster!
- From: angelsong
- Re: OT Bridal Shower Disaster!
- From: Heippa Heippa!
- OT Bridal Shower Disaster!
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