Re: Not going to the Mayo after all

Light *smooch* on your forehead, Angelsong.....Lavon


"angelsong" <dhiler19@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1185593757.348781.185700@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The truth came today. After making all the arrangments been made
(airline tickets not refundable). Of the thousands of doctors in the
Mayo at Rochester they have only 2 to see RSD pts that call a 100 a
day. I was not accepted and referred back to my local doctor. Not
accepted this week, not this month, not this year - never. I sat
crying because I felt this was might be my only time to get care for
myself. My mother is showing signs of Alzheimer's, my father just
emptied out one of his farm accounts by purchasing 2 brand new
tractors, traded in and bought 3 trucks in one year and a new car
thinking it would be a good tax write off. My husband will be needing
back surgery. My only sibling is physically inable to help me. She had
a tumor on her spinal cord in her twenties. So I am very much alone.

It's so funny just last week I accidently caught myself on video
having a seizure. To me it was just a single jerk or that was just my
memory was. To see me go on and on was a shock, I just erased it -
it's not funny, it's not even important now. What can they do? Put me
on anti-seizure meds? My sister and I have many things in common -
one is difficulty in medication and their adverse side effects. We
lose more doctors that way. I jus feel like giving up. I was meant to
be the caregiver, forget the dream of being normal or ever well. I
know I am feeling sorry for myself in a room of people who feel worse
than I do. I just feel so trapped by my love & duty. My husband I'd
walk through fire for. My parents though they love me also abused me
thoughout my childhood. Now I must sacrifice my middle ages with their
insanity of screaming at me one hour and forgeting they ever said
anything the next. If I could just get them to go to a doctor to at
least get help. I don't have the luxury of making them. The last time
my mother struck me and my father became unhinged.

I got to go this whinning isn't helping me. Please forgive me for the
pity party.

angelsong



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