This may be goodbye..

It has certainly been a great experience knowing all of you. Right now
I have an arrearage of 1800 bucks of child support on my 20 yr old
son. This was accumulated during a period of unemployment in 1997-98,
and since my disability. Othe than those times I have always paid. in
kansas you pay the court, they pay the ex spouse, so they can monitor
it. anyway, since i have zero income and assets, I can only offer to
pay it in full when and if social security pays. however, im due to go
to court on a bench warrant on july 13th, which luckily enoough is a
friday, and a day i cannot get transportation. my wife's only days off
are mondays, so i suppose she will have to call in sick. anyway,
without a way to pay them, and only a future chance of paying them, im
likely to go to jail...it wont be good, it will leave 3 kids at home
alone while my wife works, i dont know how i will get to my dr appts,
if at all....will i be put in general population where i could not
defend myself? and of course, how does any of this help in any way to
pay the amount behind. my 20 yr old son said he would go with me to
tell them i have always given him plenty while i was able....i gave
his band 2 thousand dollars worth of equipment shortly before my
disability...but who knows if that will help.

question: does social security pay my family no matter the manner that
i were to die?...because it would solve all the worries of my family,
and my sanity if i were to just die...my wife and kids would get
income to live on. i wouldnt have to endure any more suffering...pain,
fear of jail, paranoia of public, period. Ive always held to my faith,
but i dont feel like i can just keep holding on thru all the beatings
im taking. Im sure others have been thru worse, but i just dont have
the strength or will to keep this going.....any smartasses out there
that want to talk of my weakness, fine.
im past the point of caring while spiteful people have to say, its
only more on the pile.....anyway, im going to go lay down now, bye

.

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