Re: Saw the Dumb Pain Doctor Today

Dear Wayne,

The torture test, if I got your description right, is called an EMG. It's a
nerve conduction study. If that's the worst you're a lucky guy. But they
never lie when asked if the tests hurt. They are as honest as they day is
long. The can do dozens of them a day and not a single one hurts. Them. They
actually find them enjoyable (I don't know about to the point of
masturbation, unless they're thinking of the fat check they're about to reel
in.)
None of these docs feel a thing when doing a thing to you, any more than the
local butcher does carving up a side of beef. Think about surgeons, going in
with both hands to a still warm, breathing body with a heartbeat and pulse.
They do what they can do and they get out by sewing meat together (try it
with a couple raw steaks with dental floss since regular thread will snap)
or staple it together (it wont be worth ruining your good stapler, so skip
that one). Think about the ones they succeed on.mostly with simple stuff.
Every one of them has had someone die on them at one point or another. They
may never get the patients name and move on to kill the next one. They could
get to know and like a patient over the course of days and be affected, but
they have to shake it off and move to the next one. It takes a certain mind
set to do that and remember they're dealing with human beings. Or forget
they're dealing with human beings. The sobbing in the locker room on "ER" is
a joke. Injecting the cat with Thorazine and watching it walk up walls
backwards for laughs is not.
There can be no doubt that near all of them feel less about others unless
it's a family member. They have to, but you have to beware of the callous
ones. That's why when you hit one like that it's worth it to warn others and
get them out of the field if you can. if they still have the desire to
inflict torture and treat people like slabs of meat, they can always become
dentists...
That's why people need to ask questions about tests and such in here. You
'll get various opinions (I thought the EMG was a cake walk compared to some
of the tortures I've been run through), but you will never hear painless in
here. We're on the right end of the needle to tell you the truth, never
enthusiastic about paying or taking any test, even blood being drawn.
And sorry about the mini novel, but the sequel, including all the other crap
to deal with, would be 10 times longer. That's why I'm not getting in to it.
The publishing title is easy... "Fustercluck".

Aloha, my man.--og



"Hawaiian Wayne" <birdie998@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1182340164.760117.37980@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Jun 19, 5:38 pm, "OldGoat" <oldgoatm...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Mike,

When I get that legal HMO info, I'll pass it along. It's an idea that has
been around a long time but everything I have seen so far has fallen
short
of the mark by miles. This is supposed to be different, even to the point
of
having part of the fee for a nationally well known team of private
investigators at your disposal.

We'll see...--og

"Mike Berkowitz" <mkb...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message

news:sspg73l986fl6oe6f36snnh9k6k48fnut2@xxxxxxxxxx



On Tue, 19 Jun 2007 21:44:04 GMT, "OldGoat"
<oldgoatm...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Dear Mike,

I hate to ask this. Have you considered lawyering up? You need legal
help
in
obtaining your records from Pac-care and whoever else, you may have
well
have them look in the rest of the banana. There's too many hollering no
recovery, no fee, that are "national" firms. I'm also currently looking
in
to a legal HMO, with all the legal crap I have on top of everything
else,
but I was being told less than $40 a month which entitles you to a
variety
of legal services including billable hours and court appearances.
You may as well make it complete set, and hate the lawyers too, (which
I
already do, the greedy bastards) but see if they can poke a stick up
one
of
the medical asses far enough to get some movement, first. I am no HIPPA
or
insurance expert, especially in that weird state, but it sounds like
you
could use one.
You have seen it many times in here, Mike. The loud and squeaky do get
their
grease, logically or not (opinions vary), so be a pain in the ass to
your
utmost ability, and have the wife call when you're too wound up to
speak
civilly. I know that deal to and emotions and cursing will get you hung
up
on, as fast as being too courteous, and accepting what you're told,
gets
you
ignored. Listen for the laziness on the other end of the phone and
write
down names. Don't be afraid to ask who's in charge and their number,
even
if
they're in charge they have someone they're answerable to.

Hang in their, old friend.--og

OG,

I haven't looked in to the abandonment problem with a lawyer but my
wife and I tried to get one interested when I was having so much
trouble getting treatment. Not a one even returned calls or email.
Despite doctors' claims that they need shelter from being sued, I do
not see how it ever happens unless it is so gross that the lawyer sees
really big winnings with little or no effort. Now if I fronted the
money and paid by the hour, I could get 100 lawyers interested even if
the case lacked merit. That is part of what is so frustrating.

Mike- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Aloha Mike, OG, rk, Juba and No Money!

Of all the top three things that are basically TIED for first place
that absolutely make me start to grow tumors from holding back my
anger about how we are treated by "the majority" of doctors, Mike?
YOURS is the ONE that seemingly seems to constantly come to the
forefront again and again while the other two are simply fairly "rare
(relatively) events" . I'm SURE that just my reading this thread up to
this point has caused my blood pressure (of which I need medication
just to keep it BORDERLINE!) to SOAR!

I've had an unusually LONG time to dwell upon your situation because
right after I read your OP and was a third of the way through one of
OG's rare "novelettes" when my flippin' confuser decided it couldn't
handle all the processes I had running and decided to gimp out on me
(crashed). I've no reason to panic over that however, since this
antique was purchased from Dell (along with all the other components,
peripherals and hardware) for my business and all of it is extremely
"business hardy" and had I known then what I know now, I'd have
purchased a home version of everything instead. As you all may know
though, the mere thought of me not being able to work (even though
like the tests and procedures doctors give you eventually don't work
or cease being of any help) I KNEW the end of my working days was
closing in on me like the plague, and sure enough, it was either work
with so much morphine in my bloodstream that I couldn't even do
accounting procedures I'd been doing for 20 years or attempt to work
in pain...which wasn't even a possibility that existed! But I kept
"pretending" that I was fine even though everyone around me saw a man
having a nervous breakdown (someday, when you've all gotten to know me
a bit better, I'll tell you of the things that transpired from the end
of January through mid-June of 2005, because I fear losing the
confidence of some of those I hold near and dear to my heart (but
don't know it yet as I have only mentioned a couple overall-heh-
heh!).

OK, I have to get back on the "yellow brick road" here. Notice how I
stray often in my posts? Since I've NEVER used a message board without
being in CP or medicated with thousands of MG's of morphine, many MANY
mgs of uppers, downers, tranqs, inners and outers, I don't even know
if that is normal for me or NOT! LOL! I can only hope that when I do
this, it's at least interesting enough not to bore the teeming
millions that should read my posts (and I call OG's post a
"novelette"?!!!!??-the sheer NERVE!" ;-)

Anywho, as I read every post very carefully, it suddenly dawned on me
that when someone mentioned a certain specific problem that they had
or were having, that I had NEVER had the experience (I'm being nice
here) of going through any of those shitty circumstances with too many
doctors. I'm NOT trying to fool any of you OR myself, I've had to have
most ALL of the procedures and medical bullcrap that most every CPer
seems to HAVE to go through! What is it? Some sort of "rite of
passage" or WHAT? It sort of strikes me as the "boot camp" part of
being a lifetime chronic pain patient so we then can call ourselves
"PP's" (Professional Patients)!!!

You know what it is or course...it's the doctors inability to take our
"word" for the pain we are suffering. Either THEY have been burned
before (like my current one who told me of a patient he used to have
that got close to what I get monthly and he never had any reason to
doubt that she was actually selling them on the STREET! He found out
when she got busted and he said he swore to himself that
"unfortunately for us REAL CPer's", will never happen to him again and
that is when he decided never to take on another pain patient unless
they were someone like me.
A pain or medication management patient who has been with a 'trusted
by the community and respected doctor' for many years and fell out
that docs care for reasons OTHER than the patients cause(s), whose
medical file would be reviewed by his peers and given the total and
"beyond any resonable doubt" clearance that it was and has always been
free of any and ALL RED FLAGS, given those two doctors "stamp of
approval" that said patient was as close to being any doctor's DREAM
patient and who has already gone through any and all surgeries (if
needed), procedures and mideivil-tortures that are still lingering in
the current so-called "medical profession". (I will choose to die
instead of having to go through that nerve test again where the "nazi"
female Neurologist (she just had "an attitude" because 'back then
(1997-1999!!) SHE was the ONE and ONLY Neurologist on the entire
island!) soaked the crotch of her pants (she ALWAYS wore pants!) as
she seemingly thoroughly enjoyed shoving those damned needles all the
way up my left (sciatic ridden) foot, ankle, calf, knee, thigh,
buttock (thank goodness siatica doesn't run around the FRONT of our
torso's!! She'd have had to excuse herself to masturbate and finish
when she came back!) and she actually laughed when I involuntarily
jolted a foot off the exam table as she shoved the last and final
needle in the direct bullseye area and cause of ALL my pain, into my
lumbar discs. She NEVER offered to sedate me for that test, before,
during or
AFTER (and I tell ya, I could have used a good jolt of ANYHTING that
would have settled all the nerves down that she riled! Some that
didn't even HURT before that test but have ever since!...(friggin'
bitch!)

My apologies go to anyone I may have offended while reading the above
paragraph. I mean that sincerely. Amazingly, ALL the actual sensations
and "feelings of dread" came rushing back to me as I was recalling
that experience. I also recalled asking her "brow-beaten" nurse/nurses
aid/hand holder (thank GOD for that person!) "Does this test hurt very
much or does it 'create pain'? and she lied to me bold faced and said,
"I wouldn't say it hurts or causes pain...I'd just say it's
"UNCOMFORTABLE". Oh, yeah...RIGHT-O! I remember thinking how I'd love
to strap BOTH of those women down and stick a needle where the sun
doesn't shine and the "movable" one to the "other side" where the sun
don't shine and twisting that dial up to MAX! Then sit back for a
minute and "watch the show". However, I quickly realized how sick and
twisted a thought that was and was ashamed to have thought of it and I
can't even believe I wasted all of you guys' time by telling you!!!
(covers face in shame and embarassment)...

Where the hell was i now? Yet another fork in the road...you should
see me drive on a freeway! Thank goodness on my island there is only
ONE highway that goes from one dead-end on the north side to another
dead-end on the north-western side with about six(?) or is it
sixteen(?) miles between the two dead-ends because of those doggone
pesky naturally beautiful Na Pali rain and weather in general eroded
razor blade sharpe mountains and valleys that the engineers, for all
they were being paid at the time, simply couldn't figure how they
could blast through each and every mountain and build a bridge over
every valley...THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR SMALL MIRACLES! If and when you
should EVER see that surealistically awesome Na Pali Coast, you'll
think of the "road to Hana" on Maui and how 'they' shouldn't have
built a road going to and from T"HAT town and wish it would have just
been left "as is" for all the generations a-comin'...-LOLOLOL!

OK, this is getting rediculous...what am I now? A promoter of Hawaii's
nartual beauty? Sure, what the hell. I'll accept the job...it's a
crappy job, but, somebody has to do it! - HA-HA! I'm in Hawaii and
y'all aren't except for whats-'er-name! Ohhhh, me bad.

OK, back to reality...

If ONLY there were some way to "measure our pain" so the doctors and
everyone that tells us at least once in this crappy life, "It's all in
your head." (THAT'S the number THREE bitch of mine that makes me
absolutely furious that's kind of tied with Mike's ordeal and another.
By the by.) About a month ago, my oldest and I got into an extremely
heated arguement and he ended up cornered with his own words and the
ONLY WAY he saw to "save face" was to attack my Chronic Condition by
saying I am NOT in pain. He's damned lucky he has a full set of teeth
in his mouth still and able to reproduce! The little ***! If I didn't
love him so much, he'd be in Chronic Pain as I write this novel!

But there is NO way to measure so they HAVE to put us through the
wringer and do all these seemingly endless array of testing and
injections and suggest PT and some sort of other weird alternative
therapy...for me, not a ONE did that to me. Instead, when I brought it
up, the surgeon looked at me like I was insane for suggesting PT
before surgery because as he said right afterwards, "How is physical
therapy going to make your herniated disc healed again?" So you see
you all, every time I ran into the walls you all did, it seems like I
had to FIGHT the docs to be able to suggest something rather than be
rushed through the "let's see how much $$$ we can charge from this
very well insured (probably) non-chronic pain person at present time,
checklist, then, when they ran out of THOSE surgeries, they did ONE
LAST one that made damn sure i'd be in pain for the rest of my life,
have to erase ALL the future plans me and my wife made for "later in
life", make me and my wife wonder if either one of us wants to
continue to be married to each other because I feel it isn't fair to
HER and sometimes she doesn't feel like she should "erase all those
wonderful plans" when she is a perfectly healthy (and as usual,
typically slightly overweight 50-something American woman!-I didn't
say this!), and the list goes on and on and on...with ME still pouring
$$$ into the bank accounts of the pharmaceutical companies and my
doctors bank accounts for the rest of my life. (those bastards and
pricks...especially the LAST surgeon. HE was a real ***! Now I
don't call people THAT harly at all. however, this man picked the
wrong profession to be in. And judging by his work...(he installed two
shiney titanium rods and four of the same screws to a few of my L-
something vertabrea and cage to "stabilize" whatever was causing me
pain. BULL! The idiot made it 100 times worse! Get this: The day
AFTER this nightmarish surgery and recovery experience, I still
couldn't move an inch without screaming in pain and I was BARELY able
to even BREATH! He strolls in with a huge orderly or male nurse and
looks at me (I hate it when I can't smack someone when they deserve
it) with a grin, askes me to roll on my side so he can remove the tape
and bandages to "look at it and put clean bandages on" and I looked at
him as if he were just released from the asylum and HE LAUGHED at me
and said,"oh, look at him, he can't even understand what I said
because he's so medicated." Uh...BULL***! I can't move ***
because you broke me for life and if I could, I'd be punching you in
the face only if I could reach up and grab your tie and pull you down
to my level....I'll find rthe strength ... somehow! Man! Mike? You
think you are angry? I was just as if not more angry at this guy for
acting that way. So I DO KNOW how you feel. You have so much pure,
unadulterated RAGE building up inside of you that we were unable to
put the words in a comprehensive order so those "assh*!e$ would
understand us!

Am I correct? If not, I'm damn close. My SECOND most thing to "make me
so made I want to explode" that is tied for first with those other two
is when you go to the doctors for the first time or the 50th time and
you leave her/his office feeling so much WORSE than when you first
went in....GGGGGGGGggggggRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...............
(grunt, sputter, cough, expletive here and there, choke...cough) ahem!

No doctor should make a patient feel that way unless they have some
sort of PROOF that they are junkies, seekers or just plain liars or
worse.

Mike? OG suggested composing letters to send to FIRST AND FOREMOST(!)
Your State'S Medical Board and ALL the departments that are listed
under that heading that pertain to what a crooked doctor should be
turned over to. When I suffered so much due to my PCP totally and
thoughtlessly prejudging me and deciding that she would take it on
herself to think that IF she should mention to me that depression and
weird dark thoughts, so dark in fact they made me attempt rather
seriously, suicide once and then a feeble attempt again later, that
I'd take it as some sort of "power of suggestion" and fall into
depression one way or another! I'll never forget it...mid-appointment
and we are chit-chatting away about my back and my first surgery which
had NOTHING to do with my back and I remembered all on my own (!) that
I wanted to ask her about those "weird thoughts". So I asked her. Get
this crap: she stopped writing in my file, turned her head and looked
at me and said, "What took you so long?"

You know...I'm a very peaceful person in reality. I say I'd love to
punch him or do this or that to her, but I've always been the idiot
you saw in school that would shove himself in between two gals
(preferably) or guys who have a crowd forming around them because it
looks like someone is about to throw punches. Of course by then, the
REAL reason they started to look like they were going to fight has
gone by and sheer PEER pressure from the 'crowd' expecting it will
usually keep the one with the lowest IQ wanting to fight, for some
primitive reason. Yes, I've been smacked, pushed and shoved out of the
way tons, however, it was always a 50-50 chance that I could "talk
them down" and to me, that made it all worth it (or at least, someone
did back then.) Today? Who knows? Kids today have NO IDEA what it's
like growing up while there is a full scale WAR going on with the
draft happening at the same time and seeing your friends go away and
coming back a completely different person due to the sheer shock of
being in the USA one day and in a swamp in Cambodia another and seing
your buddy's head vanish while you and him decide to take a break from
the insanity and kickback to relax and smoke a doobie...But I digress,
yet again...)

What I'm getting to is all I really remember is thinking that I HAD to
stay "professional" as the Accountant that my facade made me out to
be, however, like you Mike, the RAGE of her not telling me that
critical and crucial bit of rather important information really pissed
me off to the point of seeking a way to get revenge. I got REALLY
lucky that day! Oddly enough, she all of a sudden decides to call the
appointment quits and picks up my file, walks to the door and I pull
up my pants from the prostate exam she ALWAYS gave me (no OTHER doc
ever makes me do that? What's with that?) and I followed HER out of
the LITTLE waiting/exam room to the HUGE waiting room...then it
happened, something inside of my emotional barrier burst and I no
longer gave a *** about her, meds, my reputation of being like "Clark
Kent" (you know, mild mannered and all that BS) nor what ANYONE IN THE
ENTIRE WORLD THOUGHT OF ME, I was suddenly rather angry, It wasn't the
usual anger I suppress and grow tumors from instead, this HAD to come
OUT. AND NOW!

I gently touched Dr. Pixler (she's no longer there...gee, I
wonder...?) on the shoulder and she stopped and looked at me. I could
tell that she was completely caught off guard by my expression and
flushed face and I probably looked like what a murderer looks like
just before he stabs someone fifty times...she dropped her smile and
nervously said, "Wayne?" I said so much in a rather short period of
time that there is no way even the worlds best dictationist (sexytary
they USED to be called-tsk-tsk) would have been able to keep up. I
covered all the bases verbally that I should have and my tone,
complete sound of my voice and way I was postured and all, was sooo
completely NOT like me that I firmly believe I scared the ol'doc! LOL!
I threatened to turn her over and report to every authority figure of
hers that I could find and tell them how she was "legally torturing
me" (something you should use in your letter to use as a kind of
metaphor? Maybe?) by intentionally UNDERMEDICATING ME so I can't sleep
until, like you said Mike, I'd pass out from physical, emotional (I
cried ALL the time due to the pain..not sobbing crying, most of the
time...just the constant tight throat and welling up of my eyes and
stained cheeks) (on my face!-FUNNY!) and mental exhaustion of not know
anything about my condition for certain and on and on. Her eyes were
like Half Dollars and she had beady eyes the size of dimes! I finally
finished and didn't give a french fart if I made an ass out of myself
in front of a roomfull of people (some who possibly knew me! Ahhh,
island living. Gotta love it!), I had had it. And I was gonna take HER
with me. I had NO idea what I'd actually done, however, as it turned
out it was the BEST thing I could have done at the time because within
two breaths, she said, "Follow me." Of course I thought, "Great, she's
going to get me back in HER power place and ream me a new one, so to
speak. Nope, she didn't even go in the little room, instead she
grabbed a referral slip, wrote a doc name on it and said that he was
the dotor that ALL the other doctor use when they NEED a pain
management doctor. (notice she never explained why SHE wouldn't do
it?!??) I was a "bit" relieved, but apprehensive. I'd been shot down a
few times by some other docs that I went behind my docs back and they
just brushed me off as we all are so familiar with...I wish they
couldn't DO that. Dang.

So, Mike, all seriousness aside now...YOU have GOT TO simply mail a
few letters to various departments of the State Medical
Board...whatever state you are in... Send one (these can all just be
"To Whom It May Concern" unless you KNOW a few names...then you know
what to do) to the Licensing Department,another to the "Board of
Ethics, if they have a department or something similar as such, OK?
and another to whatever tickles your fancy at the State Board of
Medicine. You can even send one or three to a NATIONAL Medical Board
if there is one. I have no idea about it because as you've all
probably figured out by now, I let my old doctor slip through my crack
(LOL, minds out of the ...ahhhh, forget it!) basically because I was
so totally overwhelmed by this referred to pain doctor that in the
first third of the appointment with him I actually and embarassingly
started to SOB!!!!!!!!!! I embarassed myself even! I quickly
apologized and said, "I have no idea why this is happening other than
what I'm seeing and hearing is what I've only been able to dream
about. You're taking my condition seriously and honestly! Dr. "S",
excuse me, but I've been to so many doctors that s=just don't want
anything to do with me and the rejection.....well, we all know how we
feel and some of us know how it feels to actually get some VALIDATION
from our doctors...for me though, THAT was the FIRST time...hey, a
Foreigner song lyric just popped into my head! (As happens so many
times during the day unless I'm listening to music. Thank the Lord for
Music, I'd be in the nut-house or had BEEN in the place a LONG TIME
ago if it weren't for mainstream ROCK-N-ROLL!) Here's the lyric:

Feels like the first time, It feels like the very first time,
Feels like the first time...like it NEVER will again, never again...

Ahhh, those first times...some were good, some weren't so great and
some actually sucked! LOL! WELL? Am I correct? Huh? Answer me!

OK, back to ground zero...

Also, I agree with the documenting your living (if we can call it that
sometimes!) activities for a healthy period of time. Even my wizard of
a pain doc asked (he ASKED!) me to keep a notebook for a month now and
then when I was his first second and third year patient...he pissed me
off also about that because he'd NEVER even look at the thing!!! He
just wanted me to write my routines and meds and when I have more or
less pain and my sleep patterns and what kind of sexual positions
(LOL), KIDDING... sheesh! anyway, he did have a few quirks and
foibles, as some say, but he also NEVER piss tested me, he DID have a
stupid looking, full of loopholes, pain med contract for about 3 of
the 7-8 years he was with me and the BEST thing about him is he and I
were so rediculously, oh...how should I say this? Sexually perfect
together...come on now, y'all KNOW that's a joke. Can you tell I
recently got my Testosterone Replacement Therapy injection??? That's
another one of the best things I've ever started to do...why? Well, I
take almost a dozen different meds every month if not every day. Over
the course of TEN plus years, they've managed to totally screw up my
Pituatary to Testes and back axis' so I had to FORCE myself to be
amorous enough to make love and even those times were beginning to
sway away! Since it sort of quietly crept up on me, I didn't blame any
particular ONE drug on my non-existant sex drive (libido, for the
ladies out there-LOL!) I talk to my regular turned pain AND
regular...I guess I can call him my ALL PURPOSE doc now, can't I?
Should I? Sounds weird and he may not like it... Too bad! it stuck
already.

Anyway for the millionth time(I gotta bring this baby in for a
landing...its past 1:30AM and I HAVE to Sh, SH and SH before I go to
bed because I REEK! Oh, sure, you all are so saintly and NEVER skip a
day that you'd normally take a shower and put it off until the day
after next...right? LIARS! Ha-ha! I KNOW at least ONE of you have
because we've discussed here how a shower tend to use up about HALF a
day's energy sometimes (most of the time!) and how we sometimes sweat
and sweat and so on AFTER the shower (which quickly defeats the entire
purpose for taking one...now doesn't it?) We remedied THAT by simply
taking much COOLER showers so we don't break out into a sweat WHILE
showering! Genius! SHEER Genius!

OK. I did want to "touch" on a few other items however I risk getting
tossed out of this group if I do, so....

Seriously Mike; GIVE 'EM HELL!

Aloha Just For Now (and I hope to the Almighty that my friends can
tell when I'm kidding/joking/messing with your heads in my post as I
didn't always point it out, just for the fun of it.) I know, I'm odd.

Hawaiian Wayne



.