Re: I pray this ends soon this world if a mess like me

On Mar 28, 1:48 am, "KC" <kurtsprin...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
On Mar 27, 7:34 pm, "marcusboy54" <party...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

I want out so bad got so many pills and a nother gun i pray for the
strenght to end it tonight cause i dont want to wake up to another
yesterday everyday is the fucking same for 21/2 years and iam at the
point iam almost afraid of not ending it o well god bless all of you
sure hope ya handle life betrtter than i am cya

Marcus, all I can say is if my ass is still around your's better be
around too. I've been dealing with chronic pain for five years and
not a day goes by that I don't think of ending it all. I accidentally
overdosed in January. While in the military they came close to
getting my treatment right, unfortunately, I was medically separated
before they finished the job. My wife decided to pack up and leave at
this time as well and she took my 3 kids.

I also suffer from sleep apnea and most nights I am lucky if I get 3-4
hours of interupted sleep each night because of the pain and my
stopping breathing. I am stuck in VA hell, and am seeing 3 different
shrinks for depression & pain disorder. Finally, after a year and a
half the VA put me on Oxycontin but the dosage is so low and my
tolerance so high that it doesn't do a damn thing. I have trouble
walking and use a cane since I have vertigo as well (I think "vertigo"
should be called "here i go" as in "Here I go falling on my ass
again!"). Springtime is hell b/c of my asthma and chronic rhinitus/
sinusitus.

The one good thing is that with all of my problems the VA has me as
100% disabled. Of course on the flip side my chances of getting any
decent custody arrangement is nil since my wife is portraying me as a
drugged out insomniac who can't take care of himself let alone 3
kids. Sadly I feel the same way much of the time.

I really don't remember the point of this post (I suffer from short
terrm memory loss and have some cognitive impairment as well) but I
hope you get something out of it. You're an important and well-liked
member of this community so please make sure it stays that way!

KCS

I am getint weary so I will tell ya to get hooked up with some
Trazadone i been on 5 months now 100mgs at bedtime and i sleep 6
straight hours when I take them As for your other problems was through
the divorce crapola and theres no easy answer but to try praying to a
higher being has helped me in many many dark times like the past week
and still don't know what i am gonna do I know for one thing my ss
disability after 30 months is in the hands of the judge we waved the
hearing, if its turned down i am checking out with no thought. My
brother has paid all my bills since leaving Vegas in 2004 but I feel
like a kept person and i hate it love my brother hes rich but i have
lost all respect for myself cause all I have is the bs VA and a loving
brother and sister-in law with out them the last 2 plus years It would
have been over in Vegas thanks for the reply hope i made some sense.
god bless
Marcus from daytona

.

Quantcast