Re: Up-date on Me... Not a good day or month at all...

Dear Andrea

You have no idea how I agonized after hitting "send". I tossed and turned
all night and some may think it's taking things in here too seriously, but
the last thing I want to do is hurt someone who's already in pain. And hurt
someone that I like. But you know I wouldn't have gotten on my "high-horse"
if I didn't care.
Sometimes we do have to walk a long way through hell to find a little
relief. Sometimes the break in period on these drugs takes more than a
couple weeks and if you have to suffer for a bit through some nasty side
effects to get to the pain relief on the other side, you have to do it.
Millions on chemotherapy do it every day. And if it's an option to surgery,
even if it's an absurd option (paint yourself dayglo green for the day) you
should give it a shot. (I don't think we'll hear any suggestions from the
day-glo crowd, though)
You have personal reasons and I wouldn't dream of asking you to go in to
them. But you also have opportunity which many are denied. All I ask is that
you weight them both in your mind equally and be sure you are not cheating
yourself. The reason for the use of these drugs is self evident, you are in
agony and it burned in every word of your original post, in great big heavy
letters over and over. Be sure you give those words the weight they deserve,
in comparison to your reasons for not using these medications. I wish there
was a gray area to this decision.
Maybe there is, in just using the short acting varieties on an as needed
basis. If they knock you on your butt, well that's where you need to be when
you are in pain, and you get to pick the where and when, so it's not
constant. No one should have to deal with it 24/7, if the opportunity can be
found for at least a small break.
In a way you're lucky. The morphine based drugs I have tried have been
ineffective at all reasonable doses, it's almost an immunity. I do know they
work when it's through an I.V., but that's not much help around the house.
There are a lot more morphine based long actors than any of the other
medications. Kadian, Avinza, MS Contin are all relatives. And even with all
the other odones or orphones the body turns them all to morphine anyhow (and
that's a general statement, I believe Dilaudid and probably it's big brother
Opana, remain morpones till the liver filters and the kidneys dumps them. A
baby OpanaER (I forget the smallest size) might turn the trick or an as
needed baby dilaudid, I THINK 1mg, 2mg, 4mg and the big daddy 8mg are
available, may serve you well. They sure to try to supply a size for every
size of pain, and you can bust them in half and make your own size, if need
All I'm trying to do is give you some options, some way to fight back at the
pain. As always the choice is yours, but please consider something. You can
make actual permanent chemical changes to your brain with untreated chronic
pain, so there's much more to it than just hurting.
Sorry again for getting so- I don't know what you'd call it but I was
definitely full of it in the last post (which about says it all, and even
suggests a name for it).
Be as pain free as you can, and if I can do anything to help ( and last
night was not that) just say the word.

Take Care--og

"Andrea" <nanaandrea@xxxxxxx> wrote in message

No you didn't hurt my feelings.. There were other reasons why I didn't
want to take the Oxycotin OG, I just didn't post it because it was
PERSONAL.. I have taken it before many times..

DID I FAIL to say or post that I go back in two weeks.. OH MAN MAYBE I
FORGOT TO MENTION THAT PART.. Oh boy pain can make you forget to add
the best part huh.. And I won't give it two weeks if they don't work..
The doctor wants to make sure as I do that the Kadian is working or
not.. It had been working great up to a little over a month ago.. I
have agreed with the doctor that if the Kadian does not work, then he
will change it to Oxycotin.. And I agreed to take it IF THE HIGHER DOES

Like I said above, I have been on Oxycontin before.. I know how my body
is while I am on them.. Back then I didn't have CHILDREN to think
about.. NOW I DO...

I can't remember to tell you EVERYTHING that is said to my doctor when
I am in this much pain...

Thanks for your input OG... lol

Hugs, Andrea

old goat wrote:
Dear Andrea,

I dont say this to be mean Andrea, but you are a fool. Plain and simple.
It's your life and you must either want surgery again or want the pain,
because you are afraid of a pill. It's folks like you that do the most
damage to people with chronic pain. The doctor offers you a drug which
could literally save your life and you are afraid of it because of a
That does nothing but play in to the hands of those who would ban this
and others like it as dangerous, while people suffer in agony, which you
find preferable to taking a pill that you would have no problem with if
was named Frodo. Fool, fool, fool. And forget laying a dangers of
narcotics lecture on me, cause that's what you have been taking for at
least a month and I have had two dear friends, brothers, die from
issues, one 3 days dead, with a syringe still in his arm. That was abuse
and it's one hell of a long walk away from use as directed and
You ask for help. It's dropped in your lap and it is refused out of hand
without even the commons sense to try it and see how much of your life
be salvaged. I am sorry, but with that attitude the answer will always be
Oxycontin or methadone could have made you sick as a dog and not helped
iota for the pain. One of them could have also been the miracle
that returns you to an acceptable quality of life. No excuses, just like
answers. You will never know. You will never get better. Because you are
scared of a name. I hope you are less scared of scalpel or a wheelchair.
Stop wallowing in pain and self pity, you brought it on yourself.
I am sorry if I have hurt you emotionally, you know I am not normally
rigid and cold, but whatever hurt I may have done to your feelings could
nothing compared to what you have done to yourself physically. You'll
know, because of a name.
Just sad. That's all that's left for someone with no interest in feeling
better. No pity.
Your doctor is trying his ass off. He's the one I feel sorry for, you
cure a patient that doesn't want to get well.

You can't support one, either--og

Andrea <nanaandrea@xxxxxxx> wrote in article
Well I made it to my appt today with my pain doctor.. He could see how
much worse I am in since the last time he saw me which was a month
ago.. The first thing he saw was the cane.. Yes the cane.. I can't
stand or walk for long periods of time now.. I am lucky if I am able to
walk for 2 minutes with out wanting to scream in pain..

The first thing that came OUT of my MOUTH was "The pain medications
were no longer working".. He was surprised his mouth dropped..

Anyways, when he saw the cane he wanted to see me walk.. So I did
that.. Then he had me bend forward and backwards.. He could see I was
in major pain..Then he checked both of my legs and feet.. He saw that I
was still not able to raise my two or push then against his hand.. Then
when he got to my feet I told him how from time to time I get this
feeling in my left foot like someone is sticking a needle in it and how
it sets me on fire..

After checking everything out he asked me about changing my pain meds
to Oxycotin.. I said no.. He says, Andrea it's the same as the
Morphine.. I said no thank you.. He asked me why.. I told him I was

Then the doctor throw a whammy at me.. He said well Andrea, I'm
thinking about sending you to a surgeon because I think you need
surgery again.. I started crying and said NO.. I refuse to have
anymore surgery because the doctor that did all these surgeries had
promised to take my pain away when all he did was make my pain worse..
So he got up to check on his list of meds to see what pain meds my
insurance would cover other than oxycotin.. He wanted to put me on a
pain patch.. I said nope, they make me sick.. Then he said how about
Methadone? I said nope not that either.. I then reminded him that the
reason why I started seeing him was because the Methadone was making me
sick.. It was then he remembered..

So as I sat there crying, I said doctor, when I was here last month you
said you were thinking about uping the does on the Kadian.. It was then
I told him I would try that and he agreed..

So now he has me taking 30mgs of Kadian twice a day which before he had
me on 20mgs twice a day.. He also HAD me on the Morphine 30mgs 4 times
a day but has now changed it to only taking 2 30mgs a day.. I knew he
would change the amount of the morphine I take since he wants me off
them completely anyways..

He also prescribed me Lidoderm patches..

Anyways, I leave to my pharmacy to get the patches and the meds.. Well
I turn them in and about 15 minutes later, the pharmacy man is calling
my name over the loud speaker.

I get there to the counter.. Andrea he said with a SAD face.. We don't
have the 30mg of Kadian.. OMG I was in shock but not surprised. I asked
him to call anyone near by to see if they had it.. The first call he
made to the other pharmacy had it which was great since it.. All I had
to do was drive two blocks.. So I go sit back down waiting on the other
prescriptions to be done.. All of a sudden I hear my name again over
the loud speaker.. Andrea please come to the pharmacy.. By this time I
was LIVID.. The pharmacy man looks at me and says, I am so sorry Andrea
but we have everything ready for you but we can't give the morphine.. I
said why? He handed me the perscription.. The STUPID doctor didn't SIGN
IT.. OMG I was mad as hell since I was in so much pain I wanted to

So I had to drive BACK to the stupid doctors office, wait till he was
done with this patient and then drive back to the pharmacy to get the
Morphine.. I was not happy at all..

Anyways, after I got the perscription signed I went back to the
pharmacy and picked up the Lidoderm and the Morphine.. Then I drove to
the other pharmacy to pick up the Kadian..

By this time I was in so much pain I was crying.. While I was at the
2nd pharmacy I needed to get something to drink so that I could take
one of each of the pain meds.. I was in to much pain.. I knew if I made
my way to the back of the store I was not gonna make it back.. The
clerk saw that I was in pain and offered to go get the drink I wanted..
I took her up on her offer and couldn't thank her enough...

As soon as I got in the car, I took both and drove straight home.. It's
been two hours now since I took the Kadian and the Morphine and my pain
is still past a 10 level wise.. I will give it a week and if it don't
work, my ass is back to the doctors office.. I can't take another month
in this much pain..

Oh yeah.. I forgot to mention that the doctor still wants me to have
that CT Mylagram done.. I agreed to have it done as long as another
doctor does it.. He agreed.. For some reason, they can't get the
records from Las Vegas from the last CT done in 2003.. They need that
to find a opening to put the needle in.. After 14 trys last month, he
knew not to let that other doctor touch me again..

The ONLY reason why I have agreed to have the CT Mylagram done is
because I WANT TO KNOW WHY I am in so much pain.. Living like this is
BS!!!! No one should have to like like this in so much pain..

Hugs, Andrea